Loosen up
Question
I think my vagina is very small or too tight and I just don't know what to do about it. I've never even been able to put a tampon in because when I try to my muscles tighten up and it feels really uncomfortable. My boyfriend has managed to put his little finger inside a couple of times in the past but he's stopped doing that so he doesn't hurt me. I can't think of a psychological reason for it and I try to ignore the pain but nothing seems to work. Is there anything I can do? I'm not keen on going to the doctor about it because they've done an internal examination before and it hurt so much I cried. Can you help me?
Answer
There isn't such a thing as a vagina that's 'too tight' or 'penis that won't fit' because a when woman becomes sexually aroused during sex, her vagina becomes wet and opens up to ease penetration. Thanks to the accordion-style folds of skin in its wall, any woman's vagina can accommodate any size penis, no matter how large. (It's also worth remembering that a woman's vagina can stretch to accommodate the size of a baby's head and then go back to its original size.)
It could be that the fear of penetration hurting is making your body tense, and then preventing your boyfriend to penetrate you.
Penetration can be difficult if you are tense or not aroused enough or too dry and it could be that the fear of penetration hurting is making your body tense, and then preventing your boyfriend to penetrate you. Try to take your time and make sure you feel aroused enough before you attempt penetration.
You can buy lubricants e.g. KY Jelly which may help, but avoid oil-based lubricants like Vaseline if you are using condoms as they can rot rubber. It's important to remember intercourse will become easier and more comfortable in time.
We are not sure if you have actually had sex or when you have tried to have sex it has been unsuccessful, but you should bear in mind that it is common to experience difficulty during penetration for the first time. First time sex can hurt and some women do bleed a little bit if the hymen is still intact, as it will break the first time you have sexual intercourse. This doesn't happen in all women as the hymen may already have broken before sex, e.g. through using riding a bike.
If penetration is still difficult, it's worth visiting your local doctor (GP) or a doctor based at a Genito-Urinary Medicine (GUM) clinic for a check-up as pain during sex can sometimes be the sign of an infection. A GUM clinic is a specialist clinic that offers free confidential testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections.
Updated: 17/01/2008
Question answered by YouthNet in association with Brook
