Need a new job?

The telltale signs that say it's time to move on.

Your first proper, grown-up job starts off as new, challenging, fun and exciting. What's more you are getting paid for it. However, sooner or later, unless you are very lucky, dissatisfaction creeps in and it's time to take a step out of the door and up the ladder. If you recognize any of the following it may well be time to take stock:

Drinking to forget

You're wolfing down the turps more frequently, for escapism, because you are bored and depressed with your job. Worse, you catch yourself drinking in dodgy bars and being tempted to splurge 200 notes on a guy who'll break your boss's legs ("no questions asked mate, consider it done, on the level").

Bad time keeping

You're always late because it is such a performance to drag yourself out of bed. The prospect of work puts lead weights on your feet and slows you down even more, but you don't care anyway.

Who ate all the pies

You're so bored you comfort eat all day and your clothes keep 'shrinking in the wash'. The crunch comes one glorious morning when you actually get a seat on public transport, but struggle to fit into it.

Bored stoopid

You wouldn't call yourself a clock watcher, but anyone can ask you the time at any point during the day and you know to the nearest minute without having to look at your watch.

Depressed

You spend Sunday afternoon in a black depression because it's Monday tomorrow. You regularly wake up in the early hours of the morning with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and the best it gets all day is gloomy.

Skiving for Britain

You ring in sick with a crap excuse and you don't give a flying f*ck whether your boss believes you or not. More and more often you just can't face going in.

Forgetting to work

You're not stretched in your job, in fact you are totally complacent because you could do it in your sleep. You don't get promoted because you give the impression of being at a holiday camp; you take long lunch hours, surf the net all day and ceaselessly gossip with and disrupt your colleagues.

Letting yourself go

You are always tired, often hungover, your skin and hair are grotty, you are a stranger to the gym and you've had the same clothes on for 3 days. You take no pride in your appearance because you are only going to work. No way to blaze a trail up the career ladder.

Disorganised

You get up with nothing ironed, don't allow enough time for the journey to work and you've forgotten the important task you were supposed to have finished before you went home last night. Then it's downhill all the way to 5 o'clock and when you get home there's no food in the fridge.

Irritable

You boyfriend/girlfriend and your mates (if you've still got a boyfriend, girlfriend or any mates) have had enough of your short fuse and bad temper. You have to take a deep breath before meetings with your boss so as not to say something you will both regret.