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Cheating shame


Pia

Pia Webley, 18, is passionate about writing and loves tacky celebrity magazines, music, night-life and dancing until her feet hurt. She also hates cheaters.

Pia can't understand why people stay in a relationship when they can't resist temptation and end up cheating.

To be in a loving relationship can be a truly blissful thing. If you've found your so-called 'soul mate', it's expected that you should feel happy and content. If this is the case, why are so many men and women compelled to cheat on their partners?

We usually enter a relationship on the premise that this special person will be our companion - devoted to them entirely and enjoying intimacy and sexual exclusivity. I strongly believe that if one partner feels unhappy, which does relentlessly happen, it is their duty to express their dissatisfaction before they do anything drastic. After all the emotional investment that both parties have committed to the relationship, they owe it to their partner (and themselves) to work through the problem together in hope to ride through the 'rough patch', or to call quits on the relationship.

I think that people who go out and cheat on their partner are either too cowardly to address the situation head-on, or are simply too selfish and would much rather have their cake and eat it, (in a cheap seedy motel with their lover, probably) or both. Worse still, many will use pathetic excuses to justify their infidelity: "I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing" or "I realised I wasn't ready for a serious relationship", are common excuses. Anisogamy, in particular for male cheaters, has been used as a biological explanation - that the sole purpose of sex is to reproduce and that to stay with one person would defy the intentions of Mother Nature. Other ludicrous suggestions are that kissing, 'sexting' (dirty texts), oral sex, sex with a prostitute or cyber-sex does not constitute cheating. Well it does.

"The healthy aspect within a relationship may never be restored once that trust has been broken. Even if the cheating spouse is forgiven, it can take a very long time to build that trust up again."

Many relationships have been destructed following revelations of infidelity. The injured party will suffer from pangs of humiliation, jealousy, and betrayal and in some cases, revenge. The healthy aspect within a relationship may never be restored once that trust has been broken. Even if the cheating spouse is forgiven, it can take a very long time to build that trust up again. Sometimes it never is, and one might find themselves cheating to get 'even'. I find it hard to believe that a relationship can ever be rescued from such a circle of deceit.

Just as guilty are those who are more than aware that the person they are sleeping with is in a relationship, but continue to sleep with them anyway. Many are trying to lure these cheats into leaving their boyfriends or girlfriends. They don't care about how much hurt they could cause someone and only think of their own desires. They don't care that the person they are sleeping with is also unashamedly sleeping with someone else, and therefore has absolutely no respect for either of them. They are so shrouded in their own lack of self-esteem that they gain confidence from seducing someone that they know is already taken, rather than looking for another singleton like the rest of us (wearily) do.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think that relationships should be exclusive. If you love someone, you should want to be with them only. Yes, there are temptations and if these are overwhelming, then it's probably time to re-evaluate whether you really want to be with your partner or if it's worth throwing a relationship away for the sake of lust.

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