You get the feeling you made a slight tit of yourself last night, but need to run your tongue under the tap and pick the fag butts out of your hair before worrying about anything.

Then a mate phones and gives a blow-by-blow account of what actually happened. The knickerless cartwheels, games of pull-a-pig, doing the splits on the bar, flashing your privates at the bouncers when they told you to get off the table, the bit where you started throwing beer at them and finally, the bit where they carried you out and you puked in the gutter.

Who would have guessed going down the Cat & Bagpipes would turn into an evening with Liza Minelli, pre-rehab?

If you're a bit on the shy side, discovering alcohol can be like the dawning of a new age. Hurrah! No more stumbling over your name as sweat drips from every pore and you try desperately to camouflage into the vol-au-vents. But before you go skipping into the horizon, hand in hand with a bottle of Jack Daniels, you should check just how blurred the horizon is. You may think you brought the house down with your Mick Jagger impression, but people were probably gaping open-mouthed at your descent into Oliver Reed-esque depravity.

Going against your nature?

Innate British qualities such as reserve and modesty have never been so out of vogue: Be more gregarious, get tactile, maintain eye contact, use open body language, crave to be the centre of attention. 'What's the point of doing anything if nobody's watching' is the mantra of our age.

When you're the type of person who walks into a room and turns scarlet if the cat stares you out, it's easy to feel like a failure and look for a little help to 'dampen the nerves'. But unless you're prepared to walk around pissed out of your brain 24/7, then you are going to have to deal with people, sober, at some point. Imagine if you were still doing it in ten years? Do visions of sipping a can of meths while browsing through the latest range at the Cancer Research shop scare you? They should.

You may be a bit shy, but not everyone wants to spend time in the company of an egocentric drama queen. Unfortunately there seems to be a popular misconception that if you're quiet, then you're dull. Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster, Brad Pitt, and Harrison Ford are just a few examples of shy people who let their abilities do the talking.

Slow down, take it easy

If you're concerned about your drinking, Alcohol Concern advises people to try keeping a drinks diary. Safe levels are 21 units a week for men and 14 for women.

When out, if you start to panic and get flustered, slow down! Avoid the crowds and start a conversation with one person, or if that's too scary, go to the loo or play a quiz machine, anything to gain time to gather yourself. You could try alternating alcoholic drinks with soft drinks and if mates give you a hard time lie and say there's vodka in it.

Clare Riley

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