Abstinence
Hollywood has caught on - Lisa Kudrow, Britney Spears and Cliff Richard have all tried abstinence, so why not you? Oh, OK forget about Cliff.
What is it?
Abstinence means avoiding sex. It is short-term celibacy. It is OK to go through periods of your life in which you want to abstain as that decision to have sex is your decision, each and every time.
Abstinence doesn't have to mean switching off your sex drive completely. In fact, with a little imagination, abstinence can be very sexy. Instead of rushing into the act, it will make the smaller gestures such as hand holding, massages, bathing together, kissing, and touching all the more sensual.
Why do it? (Or don't)
Abstaining does not mean you are frigid or destined for life as a monk or a nun - it may just be a temporary decision. Taking some time out for your body, mind, and spirit.
You may just need some headspace without the emotions and complications of sex; maybe you have exams or something else important that you need to concentrate on, you can't be up all night working through the karma sutra. You may just be labelling your self as celibate while single and waiting for the one to come along (but that's just sad.)
You may even be one of those people with high sex drives who take regular "fasts" from sex claiming that by having sex less frequently, the result is orgasmic. If so, lucky you...
Abstinence does have other advantages:
- Less stress: Well if you think about it, no sex also means no worrying about your performance in the sack, who sleeps in the wet patch, how you look naked (unless you are a naturist), whether they're sleeping with someone else, whether you should sleep with someone else, whether to spit or swallow, screaming the wrong person's name, and carpet burns.
- Get a life: Time and energy usually spent having sex, thinking about sex, and trying to get sex can instead be spent on more interesting things, taking up kick boxing or learning Chinese or making new friends to discuss things other than sex with. However people you talk to may be offended that you don't want to get in their pants.
- Healthy and happy: No sex also means no pregnancy scares, less chance of catching STIs, no struggling with bra catches, no waking up with dog-ugly strangers. More cash, all that money usually spent on gifts and bondage gear and special dinners can now be spent on other things...
Although obviously the downside is that you don't get any sex.
But what if the perfect shag comes along?
OK, so it's not always going to be easy but if you have chosen to abstain from sex, you probably don't want a single moment of passion to undermine your good intentions.
However, you may find it difficult to abstain for long periods of time, and may even find yourself in a situation where you can't hold back any more. One reason why you should still have a back up plan, like carrying condoms. Besides abstinence isn't a permanent choice, you have every right to change your mind when and where you please. So go on, improve your mind and your sex life; abstain, if only for a little while.
