No sex please, we're abstinent. It may sometimes feel like the whole world is shagging non-stop, but there are plenty of people who choose not to put out.
What is it?
Abstinence means avoiding sex. It is short-term celibacy. It's fine to go through periods of your life in which you choose to abstain - the decision to have sex is yours to make, each and every time.
Abstinence doesn't have to mean switching off your sex drive completely. In fact, with a little imagination, abstinence can be very sexy. Instead of rushing into the act, it will make the smaller gestures such as hand holding, massages, bathing together, kissing, and touching all the more sensual.
Why do it? (Or don't)
Abstaining does not mean you are frigid or destined for life as a monk or a nun - it may just be a temporary decision. Taking some time out for your body, mind, and spirit.
You may just need some headspace without the emotions and complications of sex. Maybe you have exams or something else important that you need to concentrate on, so you can't be up all night working through the Karma Sutra. You may just be labelling yourself as celibate while single and waiting for the right person to come along (A little sad perhaps, but nowhere near as bad as looking desperate.)
You may even be one of those people with a high sex drive who takes regular "fasts" from sex - apparently having sex less frequently mean that when you do the results are orgasmic. If so, lucky you...
Abstinence does have other advantages:
- Less stress: Think about it. No sex also means no worrying about your performance in the sack, who sleeps in the wet patch, how you look naked (unless you are a naturist), whether they're sleeping with someone else, whether you should sleep with someone else, whether to spit or swallow, screaming the wrong person's name and carpet burns.
- Get a life: Time and energy usually spent having sex, thinking about sex, and trying to get sex can instead be spent on more interesting things, like taking up kick boxing or learning Chinese or making new friends to discuss things other than sex with.
- Healthy and happy: No sex also means no pregnancy scares, less chance of catching STIs, no struggling with bra catches, no waking up with dog-ugly strangers. You'll also have more cash: all that money usually spent on gifts and bondage gear and special dinners can now be spent on other things...
The obvious downside, however, is not getting any sex.
But what if the perfect shag comes along?
No one ever said it was going to be easy, but if you have chosen to abstain from sex you probably don't want a single moment of passion to undermine your good intentions.
But you may find it difficult to abstain for long periods of time and may even find yourself in a situation where you can't hold back any more. This is one reason why you should never forget your back-up plan, so keep on carrying condoms. Abstinence isn't a permanent choice and you have every right to change your mind whenever you please. So go on, improve your mind and your sex life. Abstain, if only for a little while.
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