Step one: Identify your target

Try to talk to as many men/women as possible until one gives in, although this will be torture if you have any sense of shame. Alternatively, pick one lovely, muster up all your wit, charm and cash and go get them a drink.

Step two: Check them out properly

• Are they breathing? Preferable, surely?
• Are they as drunk as you are? Fine, so long as you're both still sober enough to know what you're doing.
• Are they currently kissing someone else? If so it's probably wise to steer clear, at least for now.

Step three: Move in for the kill

• Start with sexy glances and smiles across the room, hopefully your smouldering looks will be returned
• When your mates get fed up with your big-eyed puppy dog routine you should prepare to make a move. Wander over, try to look as cool as possible and don't fall flat on your face.
• Stay and chat or run away, depending on what kind of vibes you're getting from them. You might realise they just have wonky eyes and weren't actually staring at you all night.

Finally, don't:

• Tell them you want to marry them and have lots of children together - this will scare them off and if it doesn't, well, it should scare you.
• Throw up on their shoes. Bad. Very bad.

Updated: 13/12/2012