How to pull

The ultimate step-by-step guide for the pulling novice.

Step one: Search for your prey

Try to talk to as many men/women as possible until one gives in, which is torture if you have any sense of shame. Alternatively, pick one babe, muster up all your wit and charm and cash and go get them a drink.

Step two: Check them out properly

• Are they breathing? Preferable, surely;
• Are they as drunk as you are? Fine, so long as you're both still sober enough to know what you're doing;
• Are they currently kissing someone else? If so it's probably wise to steer clear, at least for now.

Step three: Move in for the kill

• Start with sexy glances and smiles across the room, hopefully they will be returned;
• When your mates get fed up with your puppy dog routine, prepare to make a move. Wander over trying to look as cool as possible without falling flat on your face;
• Stay and chat or run away, depending upon whether you pull or not; or if they have wonky eyes and weren't actually staring at you all night.

Finally, don't:

• Tell them you want to marry them and have lots of children together - this will scare them off and if it doesn't then it should scare you;
• Throw up on their shoes.