Dating agency dos and don'ts

More and more people are using dating agencies and websites in the search for true love. Here's how to choose a reputable agency, make the most of memberships and arrange safe meetings.

Finding an agency

Do

• Check they members of the Association of British Introduction Agencies. ABIA agencies have to follow a strict code of practice.
• Ask how many introductions you can reasonably expect to be given within your selected age range and area.
• Persevere with your membership - success doesn't always happen overnight.
• If you are unhappy about the way things are going, tell the agency as soon as possible to give them a chance to rectify the situation.

Don't

• Join an agency using a PO Box number.
• Join an agency using a premium rate telephone number.
• Join an agency that refuses to give you details of their fees on the phone or in their literature.
• Part with any money unless you have been given the opportunity to visit the agency.

Arranging a meeting

• If you leave a message with someone (or on an answer phone) don't mention the dating service - some people share accommodation and may not want flatmates to know they have joined.
• Try to have several telephone conversations or exchanges of letters so that you know a little more about each other before you meet.
• You should arrange your first meeting in a public place during daylight hours, e.g. afternoon coffee or a quick lunchtime drink.
• Never invite someone to your home on a first date (or meet at their home) and don't accept a lift to or from the date - make your own way there and back.
• Let someone know where you are going, who you are meeting (you needn't mention the dating agency), and what time you expect to be home.
• If you have a mobile phone, take it with you.

On the first meeting

Do

• Be positive about yourself - a bright, cheerful attitude to life is much more appealing than a negative one.
• Be polite if you decide you don't want to meet up again. Don't promise you'll ring if you have no intention of doing so.
• Be yourself - don't pretend to be something you're not!

Don't

• Talk endlessly about your failed relationships - it can be off-putting!
• Drink too much, even if you are nervous.
• Visit anyone without being invited.
• Feel pressurised into starting a physical relationship if you don't think the time is right.