As rites of passage go, losing your virginity is pretty huge. Whether you're saving yourself or just desperate to get it over with, your journey into the wonderful (yet sometimes scary) world of sex is something you'll remember for the rest of your life. So before you loosen that chastity belt, make sure you're physically and emotionally equipped.

Virginity advice for girls

Will losing my virginity hurt?

We're not going to lie to you. Yes, it will probably hurt. How much varies from girl to girl. But there's lots you can try to minimise the pain. Firstly: foreplay foreplay foreplay. Get to know each other's bodies first through touching, kissing and licking. If you're turned on, your vagina will release natural lubricant, making penetration easier and less painful. But the most important thing is to try to relax. If you tense up, your vaginal muscles will too, sometimes resulting in a burning, stinging or aching sensation. Remember you can stop at any time if you don't feel comfortable.

Will I bleed all over the place?

Some girls bleed when they lose their virginity, but most don't. The blood comes from the tearing of the hymen - the stretchy membrane that partially covers the entrance to the vagina. A penis may tear it during first-time sex although in many cases it will already have been worn away by using tampons, sport or just general wear and tear. If you do bleed, remember the amount of blood looks much worse spread out on a sheet or in your knickers than it actually is. If you're worried about stains, put a towel under your bum before you have sex.

I'm scared my naked body is ugly

It's worth mentioning that the boy you're getting naked with isn't going to notice your cellulite/muffin top/flabby thighs. His thoughts are more likely to be "Oh My God! It's a girl, a beautiful girl with BOOBS, and for some odd reason this GODDESS is letting me sleep with her. Hooray!"

If you're majorly panicking about getting naked it might be worth asking yourself if you're really ready for sex yet.

If it's just getting your kit off that worries you, agony aunt Anita Naik recommends spending more time naked alone to increase body confidence. She says: "You're not going to have good sex if you're too busy holding your tummy in or trying to push your boobs together. Stop being critical and try and lose yourself in it."

Don't expect to come straight away

If you're expecting fireworks your first time, you may find yourself disappointed. Sex is a major learning process and it takes time to learn what your body likes. So just because you don't come during your first time - or your second, or your 202^nd - doesn't mean you never will. Again, foreplay is your friend here because most girls find they don't come through penetration alone.

Virginity Advice for boys

Is my dick big enough?

Showing off Mr Happy for the first time might be a little daunting - especially if you're scared he doesn't measure up. Here at the TheSite we've said it a thousand times but we'll say it again: Size. Doesn't. Matter. Women - whose vaginas coincidentally are, on average, only four inches deep - really aren't that fussed, especially if your tongue and fingers know their way around. If you're still feeling shy, it may be worth waiting for a girl you can trust before you have sex.

Don't trust porn

You have a computer, you have an internet connection, you have a penis - chances are you've looked at some porn. Fair enough. But please don't assume the sex you see in pornos will be ANYTHING like your own sexual encounters. No, women don't want to be banged senseless without any foreplay and then have their face ejaculated on. So don't copy the porn 'moves' unless you want a seriously offended girl crying on your pillow. Most importantly, don't expect the girl you're sleeping with to look like a pornstar. Real women have pubes, their boobs don't defy gravity and the tops of their thighs may well rub together. Distinguish between reality and fantasy otherwise you're going to be disappointed.

Virginity advice for everyone

Contraception

Think virgins can't get pregnant? They can. And they can get STIs as well. Contraception may be the last thing you're thinking about when losing your virginity but condoms are essential. If you can, discuss contraception before the big event. Condoms can take some getting used to, so if you're a guy it may be worth practising alone a few times before V-day.

Lose it for the right reasons

The peer pressure to lose your virginity L-plates is always immense but don't let yourself be rushed.

Anita recommends asking yourself some important questions beforehand.

"Are you doing this for yourself or are you doing this for someone else?" she says. "If you're doing it only because you think you should or because you want someone to like you, don't do it.

"Try and do it with someone you really care about and discuss your expectations and concerns about sex - including contraception. Don't expect it to be amazing, it may not be, and discuss this with your partner. If you don't feel comfortable having this important discussion with them then you may not be ready to sleep with them."

Updated: 10/01/2012

Holly Thompson