No glove, no love, baby

Obviously, not being too drunk helps. And so does not waiting until you're both completely gagging for it before you raise the issue. If you think penetrative sex is on the cards, it's best to mention condoms while you've still got your pants on, then there's less risk of getting carried away in the heat of the moment.

If you're up against competition, give them your reasons for wanting to use one, for example: "I'll be able to relax and enjoy it more if we don't need to worry so much about pregnancy and STIs." If you can't discuss something like condoms, should you be having sex with this person in the first place?

Sure, not everyone likes using condoms, but given a choice of sex plus condoms, or no sex at all, most of them will take the rubber option every time. Condoms aren't that bad, and if there are specific problems, a change of brand can sometimes make all the difference.

Condom on or it's all off

If they still refuse, or try to talk you round, don't be scared to put your foot down. Respect yourself, and don't have sex with someone who doesn't care about your opinions and worries. Be very wary of someone who pressures you too much - they are probably not an ideal partner. You could end up regretting your decision if you give in to them.

If you stick to your guns, and they still refuse to use protection, you are left with two options. You can continue to be sexy but avoid penetrative sex, or you can put your clothes back on and ask them to leave.

Wise up to bad excuses

There's no such thing as a legitimate excuse for not using a condom - but that doesn't mean some people won't come out with lines like these:

• Look at me, I don't have any diseases
• I'll pull out before I come
• Putting it on interrupts our lovemaking
• Condoms give me a rash, I'm allergic to them
• I want to be closer to you because I love you so much
• They ruin the sensation of sex
• They look and smell horrible, just thinking about them makes me go limp
• It's like having a bath with your socks on
• They hurt me and cut the blood off, I'm too big
• If you really cared about me, you wouldn't even ask me to use condoms
• I can't afford them
• I didn't bring any because you'd think I was presumptuous
• Just once won't hurt, we can get some tomorrow
• I'm too embarrassed to buy them
• But we don't need condoms, you're on the pill
• But you can't get pregnant if you're having a period.

Remember, it's not just penetrative sex that transfers STIs. You can catch chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, LGV and gonorrhoea from having unprotected oral sex. The HPV virus, which can cause warts and (though rarely) cancer, can also be caught from having oral sex. Make sure you're protected and practice safe oral sex by using a condom or dental dam.

Updated: 03/02/2012