The 'silence of the lads' can leave many women feeling understandably insecure. After sharing such an intimate experience, it's only natural that you want to maintain that closeness through talking, kissing and cuddling. So why do so many guys hit orgasm and then a) roll over b) feign death c) smoke a cigarette or d) order pizza?

One reason why

One explanation lies with the biological changes that a guy goes through after orgasm. Unlike you, he cools off very quickly. His arousal level drops sharply and his heart rate takes a tumble. This is known as the refractory period, something women don't go through in the same way, because women are sometimes able to experience multiple orgasms with very little time to recover in between.

So that accounts for his dramatic switch from stud to slug, but there's no excuse for being thoughtless. If you're feeling a little shut out then you need to let him know, and find a way to connect after sex that's rewarding for you both.

Easing the situation

Just don't raise the subject seconds after he's hit the spot and then the pillow. Talk about it when you're not in bed, at a time when he can discuss the issue without feeling guilty or embarrassed.

Shake up your routine if possible, and avoid only having sex last thing at night. Set your alarm clock a few minutes earlier, and see if this makes a difference.

Updated: 28/09/2011