Why a hand job?

Good sex isn't just about penetration. In any loving relationship, there are countless ways to drive each other wild without getting jiggy. Being open and honest about what turns you both on is important. Being good with your hands is helpful, however, especially when it comes to manipulating his member. His penis has more nerve endings than almost any other part of his body, and your hands are the best way to fire them all up.

Handle with care

There's a good reason why a guy's tackle is often called the 'Crown Jewels'. For him, it's the most precious bit of his body, and something that needs to be handled with great care. Tugging away like a carrot picker will get him crying out for all the wrong reasons, as will squeezing so hard both heads turn blue. He might make out that it's a rod of iron, but the truth is it's a deeply sensitive organ that will respond far better to a more thoughtful touch. Using a lubricant may help you both, too, and he'll thank you for a clean pair of hands.

Find the 'pole position'

It's not just his comfort you need to consider when you're rubbing him up the right way, but yours too. Let's face it, you really don't want to be in a situation where he's moaning with pleasure and you're moaning with hand cramps. It's got to be good for you both, and the way you're positioned is important. Anything from having him lie on the bed, or sitting on a chair with his legs apart will make your handiwork a happier, more rewarding experience.

Hand job techniques

What works with one guy may not be good for another, and often the best way to find out is by asking! Encourage him to show you how he pleasures himself, then take the lead and be creative. As a basic starting point, however, grip his penis gently with your hand/s and slowly stroke it up and down. Be sensitive to the way he responds, and you'll soon find the confidence to try out different techniques. Ultimately, the only limit is your imagination, so here are a few ideas to get you thinking;

• The Ring of Pleasure
  Instead of using your hand around his shaft, form a donut ring with your thumb and forefinger and get a rhythm going just under the glans at the top of his penis.
• The Comb Over
  On every other 'upswing' or so, take your thumb and rub it over the top of his penis head before bringing your hand down again.
• The Pastry Worm
  Sandwich his penis between the flat of both hands, then roll one hand forward and the other back. Repeat the motion back and forth as if you were playing with pastry, and not trying to light a fire with sticks.

Don't forget the balls and bell end

Aim to extend your attention to the head of his penis as well as his testicles - two very sensitive areas of the male genitalia. Rubbing your thumb around the rim of his bell end and/or gently cupping his balls while you work is guaranteed to make his toes curl with pleasure.

Call the shots

We can't stress enough that manual stimulation should be something you both enjoy. Like sex, it's not compulsory and nor should you feel obliged to bring him to orgasm. In short, he needs to be sensitive to your needs too, and respect the fact that a helping hand from you doesn't have to be a means to an end.

Can you get pregnant from a hand job?

Pregnancy-wise, it's very VERY unlikely you could ever get pregnant from giving a hand job. Sperm either needs to be deposited inside the vagina or fresh sperm needs to be right on the edge of the vagina for there to be a risk. But if you get sperm on your fingers, and those wet fingers are put either inside or very near the vagina - there is a small risk of pregnancy.

Can you get an STI from a hand job?

It's much less risky than regular or oral sex, but you can still potentially catch the following.

Genital herpes

If a person with herpes on their hand or finger touches the genitals.

Genital warts

It is possible for warts on a hand can be passed to the genitals - although this is really rare.

Scabies

The mites which cause scabies can be found in the genital area and can be passes on by skin-to-skin sexual contact.

Syphilis

Syphilis can be passed on by direct skin-to-skin contact with someone - whether sores are present or not.

We would love to tell you that there's a completely safe sex act out there for you all to indulge in worry-free. Unfortunately that's not the case. Any type of sexy behaviour comes with a risk, but using condoms and asking partners about their sex history can help reduce the possibility of getting an STI.

Updated: 18/04/2012