Everything is going well with your new partner, until you meet their mates, and go down like a lead balloon. Don't worry too much, there are several strategies for coping with this problem.

Look at it from their point of view

If they are used to spending lots of time together, they may simply be jealous that you are hogging his or her time. If this is the case try to have a night off when they can see their mates and you can see yours. Spend some time with their mates too and with time, they may accept you.

Talk to them

There's a good chance his/her friends like you and you're just reading them wrong. Whatever the truth is, you may be able to be in the same room if you manage to clear the air.

Don't put your lover in the middle

Whatever you do, resist the urge to ask your partner to choose between you and their friends. You can explain how you feel i.e. you could be struck down dead by the looks their mates give you...but don't ask them to give up their mates - it is unlikely they will.

Don't blame yourself

The dreaded friends may not like you but that doesn't mean it's your fault. It may be they loved the ex and begrudge anyone trying to step on their toes. They may want all their mates single so they can have fun. They may be jealous. Remember it's them not you, probably.

Don't go changing

If your partner likes you for who you are, chances are their mates will come round to that viewpoint, don't change to please them. That said don't be stubborn, a little effort goes a long way.

Updated: 13/01/2009