Porn and relationships
A secret stashed under the bed or something you enjoy together? TheSite.org investigates whether porn has any place in a healthy relationship.
The popularity of porn
Pornography. The very word conjures up images of handle bar moustaches and wooden, ahem, acting. But while it's something that we all laugh at, it's a fact that the pornography industry is booming. So that means more people are buying it, watching it and looking for it and just how many purchases can acne-inflicted adolescents and dodgy brown mac-wearers make?
According to recent figures from NetValue, more than 25% of Britons have used the Internet from home to search for pornographic images. Unsurprisingly, the most prolific visitors of online porn are students, who account for almost 25% of all visits.
Many boys admit that they would not have survived the sexual desert that was adolescence if not for the wanton ladies with tangerine tans and pneumatic lips. No one else wanted to go near them when their acne resembled the type of parasitic infestation you could only pick up from the darkest corner of Borneo. Dan, 21, from Sutton explains, "Porn meant a hell of a lot to me as a teenager, I even lost my virginity with a tape playing in the background."
His and hers
In fact, it's worth exploring what options there are for females. We have sexual fantasies too you know, it's just that they haven't been so well catered for. Remember Austin Powers? While the guys got the foxy catsuited Heather Graham, Liz Hurley and Beyoncé to drool over, us girlies got Mike Myers and his buck teeth, excessive body hair and questionable dress sense.
Apparently we subconsciously seek a man with the same physical qualities that would have made a good partner in our cave dwelling days, when a girl would seek out the biggest, fattest, hairiest bloke she could find to scare mammoths away from the cave. Well at least it explains the Austin Powers casting. Thankfully we have come a long way and our tastes are catered for, right?
Apparently not, "Pornography for women is really hard to get hold of. Recent changes in the porn laws haven't yielded any significant changes for women. It still seems that women are just used as things to put a dick in and everything seems to end up in double anal penetration," explains Kathryn, owner of Sh!, the women-only sex shop.
Is that all there is?
"Women are more cynical and want to see people enjoying themselves and unfortunately we are not seen as a viable market. The biggest market is actually gay men. Women respond well to erotica, so more books sell to women than magazines. After all who wants to see floppy dicks. Women are pissed off that erections can't be shown in magazines, looking at a floppy dick is never going to be that exciting."
If you struggle to see any sense of the erotic in most pornography, it's easy to feel a bit bewildered if your partner continues to use it.
But just because they're enjoying the, er, performances of other people, it doesn't mean that you're not enough for them. Come on, surely even you in your ivory tower occasionally day dream about Brad Pitt coming by to 'fix the washing machine' and by some twist of fate he ends up shagging you on it? Oh, you too!
Written by Clare Riley
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