Poo paranoia
Question
My partner and I have been toying with the idea of anal sex but I'm a bit worried about it. I know this sounds gross but is there any chance I'll poo on him if we have anal sex?
Answer
Anal sex is when a man puts his penis into the anus and rectum of another person. Like all aspects of sex, whether or not to have anal sex is a personal choice. Some people enjoy it but other people may never want to try it. With any sexual activity, it is important not to feel pressurised into doing something you aren't comfortable with.
To reassure you, faeces (poo) are not stored in the rectum, although residual traces may be found there if you have had a recent bowel movement. Anal sex does not usually cause someone to defecate (poo) on their partner. However, if anal sex continues for a very long time, the internal sphincter muscle will eventually become tired and relax, and a small amount of faeces may be released.
Ultimately, the decision about how to have sex should be made between you and your partner, and it's a good idea to talk through your feelings and concerns together. Some couples feel that the chance of sex being a bit messy is not a problem; other couples prefer not to try it. Either way is totally fine, as long as you both feel happy and comfortable.
Many people choose to use a lubricant during anal intercourse to make penetration easier and reduce any discomfort. KY jelly is popular as it can be used with all condoms. Oil based lubricants can damage some condoms, so be sure to read the label. If any sexual act causes you a considerable amount of pain it's important to stop and seek advice.
Having unprotected anal sex (or any other unprotected sexual activity) will put you at risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and other bacterial infections. To reduce the risk of infection, always use a condom. Extra strong condoms are usually recommended for anal sex.
Having unprotected anal sex does not put you at risk of pregnancy unless sperm comes into contact with the vagina in any way, including from sperm on fingers. It is important to remember that the penis leaks a few drops of semen (liquid containing sperm) as soon as it's hard, so there's a risk of pregnancy if the penis comes into contact with the vagina, even if the man doesn't ejaculate. This is why it is important for the man to wear a condom as soon as the penis is erect.
If you want to discuss your situation, you can call the Brook Freephone Helpline on 0800 0185 023.
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Question answered by YouthNet in association with Brook
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