Oral encounters
Question
I'd really like a girl to give me oral sex, even though I don't have a girlfriend and find it difficult to meet girls. I'm really confused about the spread of HIV and other STIs, though. I've heard I should wear a condom, but this means I can't even feel the girl's saliva, reducing the pleasure involved. Can you tell me if having oral sex puts me at risk of contracting the HIV virus.
Answer
It is possible to pass on some STIs, including HIV, through oral sex. To reduce the risk of infection, a condom can be used for oral sex. Dental dams (thin squares of latex) can also be used as a barrier during contact between the mouth and the vagina, or the mouth and the anus. Contact your local Genitourinary Medicine (GUM) Clinic for further details.
If you want to speak to someone in more detail about the specific risks of oral sex and HIV, you can call the Sexual Health Line on 0800 567 123 or the Terrence Higgins Trust Direct Helpline on 0845 1221 200
You mentioned to us that you find it difficult to meet girls. It can be difficult to meet people, and it is hard for anyone to tell you how to get a girl as people meet boyfriends and girlfriends in different ways. Relationships do often develop from friendships and meeting new people through hobbies and social activities is also a good way to meet girls who may end up as girlfriends.
It is natural to think about relationships and be curious about sex and there can be a lot of pressure to start having sex. Some people may pretend to be more sexually experienced than they really are because they are afraid of what their friends or peers will think of them. It can be difficult in groups or with friends, no matter what your age, to admit to sexual inexperience.
Often it seems that everybody is having sex or has already had sex. The reality is that the majority of people wait until they are in their late teens or later. It is important to feel comfortable about first sexual experiences, and to be safe, which is why it is important to have protected oral sex if you are worried about sexually transmitted infections.
You can go along to your local Brook Centre or family planning clinic or speak to your local doctor (GP) about anything to do with sex and relationships for free and in complete confidence.
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