Climax query
Question
When I masturbate on my own using porno, I come relatively quickly, but when my girlfriend gives me a hand job it can take up to 45 minutes before I climax. I don't understand why this is happening?
Answer
Delayed ejaculation (i.e. finding it difficult to ejaculate) isn't uncommon. It can have physical or psychological causes, with stress and anxiety being common factors.
One of the first things you could think about doing is ensuring you and your girlfriend are communicating effectively. Not only is this the key to a healthy sex life, it's the key to a healthy relationship full stop.
Communication is also a really important part of solving difficulties, so explaining to your girlfriend what feels good and what doesn't when she's touching you could be helpful. She may be feeling nervous and not sure what to do, and since it sounds like you know what you like, giving your girlfriend some ideas might help both of you.
There's a wide range of online information available about delayed ejaculation and treatments. You can also visit your local Brook Centre and have a chat with a counsellor or see a doctor (GP) there. Alternatively, you can call the Brook Freephone Helpline on 0800 0185 023. Under 25s can talk to someone, in confidence, about anything to do with sex and relationships, at their nearest Brook Centre.
Updated: 23/10/2006
Question answered by Brook
