Enough is enough
Question
I had a terrible falling out with a friend. She says that what I did was unforgivable and that even though we've been able to make up in the past this time she doesn't want to speak to me again.
I've apologised and talked to her about why I did what I did, and said sorry so many times. I love my friend and I miss her terribly and I don't want our friendship to end. I'm starting to worry that I'm pestering her all the time about what happened. What's the line between trying to reconcile our differences and harassing her?
Answer
From what you've said, it's evident you've made efforts to reconcile your friendship and you've admitted your faults. Now you've apologised, only time will tell how your friend reacts.
You're right to think there's a boundary between reconciling a friendship and harassment. If she no longer considers you to be a mate then you should respect that and attempting to force the issue is likely to cause further problems, rather than resolve them. What you can do is make it clear that if she ever wants to be your friend again, or discuss what happened in more detail, then you are there to talk to.
It could be that emotions are running high at the moment, in which case you might well find she'll give you another chance to explain what happened in the future. Only she can make that call and until then it might be best to give her the space she needs. By giving leaving options open to her you can move on without worrying that you didn't try to save your friendship.
Updated: 17/05/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
