Sex with an ex
Question
My ex boyfriend wants me to have sex with him. I still love him and I think I might be ready, but how do I know for sure?
I really want to have sex because, to be honest, I feel like I've got a really high sex drive for a girl, but should I wait?
Answer
There are three really important things to consider before you decide anything:
1. Even if you are desperate to rid yourself of your virginity, you need to think about whether you should with an ex.
If he's so keen on you and wants to have sex, then why is he your ex? Think about how you're going to feel if you sleep with him and then he loses interest. Is this something that doesn't bother you? Or would you like to continue the relationship once you've had sex with him? It's important you work out what you want and be aware that you may have to cope if things don't go your way.
2. Often sex isn't that great when people lose their virginity.
In fact, often it's lousy. But you should try to give yourself the best possible chance of it being lovely by doing it with someone who loves and cherishes you.
3. You say you feel you've got a high sex drive for a girl but it's not just boys that have high sex drives.
It's natural to feel desperate to have sex and plenty of it. And some women have to have several orgasms a week in order to feel relaxed and happy and satisfied. In that, they're no different from men. But having sex with the wrong person is not necessarily a good idea.
Sex is a normal, natural thing, but people often feel better about themselves if they reserve sex for partners who truly value them, so maybe it's worth you working out if your ex loves you the way you love him.
Finally, no matter when you choose to have sex, it's important you find out about contraception before you do.
Updated: 08/02/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
