Secrets and lies
Question
My mum's cheating on my dad, and I don't know what to do. I saw her kissing some guy in a car at the end of our road, but should I tell dad or say nothing?
Answer
What you've seen has understandably shaken you up. Just don't go leaping to conclusions about what it means, or worry about the issue in silence. Your mum is the one person you need to speak to here. The key is to raise the subject sensitively, without judging her in any way, and simply let her know that you're worried.
At the same time be aware of the fact that you can't take responsibility for your parents' relationship. That's their business, unlike your welfare, which should be foremost in your mum's mind. Only she can say if there are problems between herself and your dad, though she isn't obliged to share them with you. Either way, your concern should be enough for her to realise that she needs to take steps to restore your happiness and sense of security.
Sometimes marriages do go through difficult patches, or even break down completely. Whatever happens, your mum won't blame you for talking to her, even if it sparks significant changes for your family. At the end of the day, any action that your mum or dad takes should always be with your best interests at heart.
Updated: 20/04/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
