Racist relatives?
Question
I'm white and I've been dating my boyfriend, who's black, for just over a year. I've recently moved in with him but I think his family have a problem with us being together because of my colour. They don't seem to want to talk to me about anything and seem to give us both the cold shoulder when I'm around.
I don't want to confront my boyfriend about this as I don't want to make the difference in our colour a big deal.
Answer
There are two relationships at stake here: your relationship with your boyfriend's family; and your relationship with him.
Only his family can say what's on their mind, and you won't find out unless you raise the subject. The key is to keep an open mind, and tackle things sensitively and with respect. If you can maintain such a constructive attitude, they will probably be able to do the same.
Before talking to your boyfriend's family you might want to rethink talking to him about it. A good relationship is often based on trust and honesty, so it's worth considering talking to him about what is bothering you. If you don't give him a chance to support you then you'll never know how he feels about the problem.
Whether or not his family harbour any racial prejudice, the fact is you're feeling insecure right now and deserve his support. If he cares for you as much as you clearly do for him, then there's a good chance he'll stand by you. That way he can help you address this problem with his family, as a couple.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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