Race relations
Question
I'm about to move in with my Hindu boyfriend and his parents have some issues with our relationship in general, never mind us living together. He's really supportive and wonderful but I'm worried about how his parents will react. Do you have any advice?
Answer
From what you've said, you've evidently met a kind and supportive man who shares your affections, respect and trust. In many ways, he's the best person to help you through this time, because by standing side by side, you'll be able to show everyone concerned you're happy with one another.
So, talk to him about the situation, and find out how he feels his parents would respond to the news that you're moving in together. The most effective thing you can do is to show them it's the right thing for you both, as opposed to simply telling them and expecting them to accept it.
At the same time, you do need to show respect for their beliefs, which will mean being prepared to listen and engage in dialogue. If you can, stay calm, keep an open mind and be patient, they can only do the same for you. It means even if they don't respond well to begin with, hopefully they'll relax their attitude as things flourish between you.
For more information, including telephone advice you can contact The Asian Family Counselling Service on 020 8571 3933.
Updated: 20/04/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
