Political passion
Question
I really like one of the women I study with in my politics class. We have spoken a few times and she seems really nice but I don't know how to ask her out, what should I do?
Answer
There are no universal rules about asking someone out and no right or wrong way of doing it - it depends on the two individuals involved. Always treat the other person with respect and consideration and make them feel comfortable.
I'm afraid I can't tell you exactly what to say but learning a script wouldn't help, as you have no idea what the other person will say. In general, it's best to be clear and direct, as in - would you like to come to the cinema with me on Saturday night? Or, would you like to go out for dinner? Asking them to go out with you might scare them off - it's best to suggest one date, rather than a relationship.
It can also be really useful to get to know them first, as a friend. Relationships that work are almost always based not just on physical attraction, but on friendship - having things in common, having a shared sense of humour, enjoying the same hobbies and activities.
If you get to know someone as a friend first, asking them out is no big deal at all - it's just an extension of your existing relationship. You can build up to it slowly: just start being a bit more flirtatious and affectionate and suggesting more romantic activities. If they're not interested in anything more than friendship, they'll make it clear. At best, you'll end up with a partner, at worst a friend.
Updated: 21/08/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
