Girl's world
Question
My brother recently told me that he likes to dress in women's clothing. He says he is not gay but feels comfortable in skirts and high heels.
I never suspected he was into this kind of thing and don't know how I feel about it. He hasn't told my parents. I think they would probably be OK but I don't want them to walk in on him in women's clothes without knowing - the shock would be too much for them.
Should I tell my parents? I'm confused and have no one else to ask about this kind of thing.
Answer
This is obviously a sensitive issue for you, especially as you feel stuck in the middle of two worlds at the moment and you want to do the right thing.
It's great you and your brother have such a close relationship that he feels he can confide in you about this deeply personal issue. You've done the right thing by responding sensitively. In many ways, this is all he needs in order to begin exploring this emerging side to his identity. The key is not to judge him for it, but to stress that you'll always be there to support him as a brother.
At the same time, let him know if any of this makes you feel uncomfortable. It's vital that you're both open and honest with each other, after all. So long as you're constructive in your approach, you will be able to find a way to support him that is acceptable to you.
As for your parents, it's really down to him to decide whether or not to tell them. Just ask him to consider it, and also point out the likely impact should he keep quiet and they happened to discover his cross-dressing for themselves.
Finally, suggest to your brother that he gets in touch with a self-help group for men who share his interest. The Beaumont Society provides a UK-wide support network for transvestism and transgendered people, their friends and family. Making contact could help both of you feel less isolated, and able to move on with your lives.
Updated: 03/12/2007
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
