Exhibitions of love
Question
I recently ended a relationship and have been finding it odd to be back on the dating scene. A week or so ago I met this great artist at a local exhibition and we got on like a house on fire. We've texted each other a few times but she hasn't been in touch for a few days now and I'm really nervous about how long to wait to get in touch. Should I just wait for her or make a move?
Answer
Getting back into the dating scene after the break-up of a relationship can feel very difficult. After being with someone you know very well, who understands you and knows what you're thinking, meeting someone new can feel like speaking a whole new language. Suddenly, you don't know what she's thinking or how to behave. It's like doing a new dance with someone, when nobody's taught you how to do it, and can feel very frustrating.
You know you like this girl and you got the vibe that she liked you too. You have texted her and phoned her and got a response. So far, so good. Now, you haven't had a response for a few days but please don't panic. What may have happened is that you came across a little too keen. This can be off-putting. Yes, women like to be wooed but they also like an element of subtlety in their mating rituals. I know it sounds stupid, but some people even enjoy an element of game playing - the thrill of 'will he or won't he call?' It's important to get the balance right between showing you like someone and looking desperate for a date. If you're too keen she may feel suffocated and wonder why you want a date with her so much.
You might want to consider backing off a little now. Give her some space, then, if you don't hear from her after a while, text her and casually ask if she fancies a drink the following weekend. Playing it cool may go against your instincts, but it can get results. And remember, it's unlikely you're going to find the love of your life straight after the end of a relationship. Just enjoy getting to know someone, become friends and enjoy her company. And remember to make sure you've worked through any issues from your previous relationships, so that they don't affect future ones.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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