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Question
Recently I bumped into an old girlfriend at a party. Meeting her made me instantly want to be in a relationship with her again, and since then I can't stop thinking about her.
I think I could get her phone number from friends but I'm worried this is turning into an obsession. I'm not even sleeping properly now, should I get back in touch?
Answer
It's possible the reason she's on your mind at the moment is that you still have things that are unresolved from when you were going out with her. For example, did you ever have a real chance to discuss what led to your break up?
But the problem might not have anything to do with your past relationship. Is it possible you're thinking about her so much because at the moment there's no one else in your life? There's a big difference between not being able to move on from any relationship and not being able to move on from a particular relationship.
Was she someone you think you could care for long term, or was this a less serious relationship? Only you can answer this. If you think she was pretty important then maybe you could ask her to meet you again. This would give you a chance to say you've thought about it all, and tell her why you think things might be better this time around.
If she doesn't want a second chance at this relationship then you need to find a way to stop thinking about her all the time. It might be a good idea to stop doing things you used to do with her, go out more with friends and do different things with them.
It's worth remembering that a special person is someone all of us find hard to say goodbye to, but it will get easier.
Updated: 20/04/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
