Cutting the apron strings
Question
I've just turned 18 and it feels like I should be thinking about moving out of my parent's house soon. I'm not certain what I want to do with my life and not even sure I want to leave home yet but everyone else I know is doing just that. Do I have to make this kind of choice now?
Answer
There are no hard and fast rules about leaving the family nest. Each person is unique, with their own way of thinking, acting, feeling and, in general, making their way though life. That's why it's pretty much impossible to say that: yes, a person is obliged to leave home at the age of 18 or 19. For some people it's a great idea; for others, it's not so great at all.
It also depends on your individual situation. Some 18-year-olds are at university and still financially dependent on their families. If that's the case, then it can be tough to get a flat of your own. Some people do opt to move out and share lodgings with their friends; others prefer the comforts of home.
There are also those 18-year-olds who leave school at 16 or so and have been in the workforce for a couple of years. Although they may have more financial independence than their uni-bound counterparts, that doesn't mean they are emotionally ready to be living on their own. Some find it so difficult, they end up moving back home.
So, to answer your question, it's important to consider if you feel emotionally ready to leave, can afford the extra living expenses and are willing to take on the extra responsibilities of living away from home. At the same time, leaving home doesn't mean your family will want nothing more to do with you. Hopefully they will still be there to lend support and the door will always be open to you.
Just bear in mind that after leaving home your parents will probably start to expect you to take more responsibility for your own actions. If you can hack it, great. If not, there's nothing wrong with waiting until you're ready. Life isn't a race, and no one will think less of you if you opt to live at home.
Updated: 08/06/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
