Argument effects
Question
I had an argument with another man in front of my young son. He was shouting his head off at me and I didn't know how to react. I'm not worried about the argument but I'm concerned about how it looked to my child, should I talk to him about it?
Answer
You're understandably concerned about the impact of this argument on your child. An episode like this can create a strong impression on a child, though equally, it can go entirely unnoticed by them. The key is to provide your child with the opportunity to talk about what happened if they want to, and help them make sense of their feelings surrounding it.
Don't try to force the issue by insisting that he has to have some kind of view about this row. Instead, consider working your way into the subject with a gentle conversation about how people can agree and disagree. You should try to give him a chance to find his own way to talk about what happened, but only if he feels the need.
Even if he doesn't appear to respond as you anticipate, you can finish by reassuring him that he can talk to you at any time, about any issue that's troubling him, and leave it at that. It won't guarantee the argument has been forgotten, but it does make it more likely that he'll turn to you should any doubts or worries linger.
If you'd like to talk directly to someone about this then Parentline Plus can be contacted on 0808 800 2222 to discuss any parenting problem.
Updated: 17/05/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
