Always asking
Question
I've been going out with my girlfriend for a few months now and I always end up asking her out and planning what to do, never the other way round. Is it normal that I'm always the one sorting out dates?
Answer
There could be all kinds of innocent reasons why you've ended up as the one who organises all the dates. Maybe your girlfriend's shy, or maybe your relationship has already fallen into a pattern where she waits for you to suggest what to do on dates. Whatever the case, she's the only one who can put your mind at ease, so it might help to talk with her about it.
The key is to keep an open mind, and avoid making her feel bad or uncomfortable for leaving you to do all the work. There's no need to be heavy about it. Instead, you could have a chat together about how the relationship is going for you both and then you can give her a chance to speak up if there's anything on her mind. Who knows? She could be busting to make some date suggestions, but hasn't been able to get a word in edge-ways because you're always getting there first.
The fact is, you won't find out unless you ask. It could even be that she's unaware it's been an issue for you. In which case, here's your chance to come up with some date ideas together. Your relationship is still in the early days and talking now could help to build up your confidence as a couple so you both feel able to be open with your feelings.
Updated: 20/04/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
