Same-sex attraction
Question
I'm in love with another girl, who is also my best friend, and she feels the same way about me. I've never been attracted to someone of the same sex before, but I do want to be with her. What should I do?
Answer
Whatever you're feeling right now is completely normal. The best thing is to spend time making sense of your emotions, so you can act upon them with confidence.
In every case, the most effective approach is to talk through what's on your mind. Just putting your feelings into words can help you find some perspective, and begin to work out what they mean to you. Only you can decide who you'd like to speak to, whether it is a professional, or this friend. If she's comfortable with her sexuality, or exploring it, you could find that chatting to your friend could help you decide how, and if, to take things further.
Alternatively, if you'd prefer to talk to someone in confidence, and outside of the situation, the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard (LLGS) offers information and help for anyone with questions or concerns about their sexuality. Another useful resource is SupportLine. This is a telephone helpline providing emotional support to any person on any issue on 020 8554 9004.
Ultimately, a person's sexual identity is not set in stone. Some people need more time than others to let their sexual feelings develop and emerge. Because of this, engaging in same-sex experimentation doesn't necessarily mean that you are gay or bisexual. It just means that, for the time being, you are trying on different sexual hats to see how they fit. Maybe one fits and another doesn't. Or maybe you are simply as yet undecided. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can be a healthy sign of sexual expression and maturation.
As long as you remain true to yourself, and be open honest and respectful towards your friend, then she can only do the same for you.
Updated: 04/10/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
