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Masturbating

We all love a good wank, so why do we still sometimes feel ashamed of masturbating? TheSite.org gets to grips with this sticky issue.

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What is masturbation?

Masturbation is the stimulation of your genitals for pleasure.

How to masturbate

There’s no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself. What feels good is totally personal, and half the fun is finding out what works for you – whether you’re male or female. Feeling comfortable is best, so try and get the place to yourself, or lock yourself in the bathroom for a ‘long bath’ and get playing.

Girls have it easier than boys, it has to be said. Not only are you less likely to cause the whole building to shake, you don’t have sticky sheets to deal with after.

Nature has a way of balancing things out though – girls sometimes find it harder to orgasm. If you’ve never had an orgasm,then read our article here for some more detailed tips.

Is masturbation bad for you?

NO. You got that? N.O. No way. Not at all. Can you repeat that back to us?

Masturbation is completely natural and healthy and normal and you won’t go blind, break into spots, or burn in eternal hellfire of damnation. You’ll just enjoy your body, feel more comfortable receiving pleasure with sex partners, and have a great time.

I’m a girl, is it OK to masturbate?

YES. Yes. You got that? Y.E.S.

Careful with that instrument!

Before you have a go with the showerhead/hairbrush/rolling pin, inserting foreign objects into your various cavities can occasionally result in them getting stuck – especially in your anus. Using sex toys specially designed for the purpose lessens the risk of an embarrassing trip to A&E.

And only use lubes specially designed for sex. Your private parts are a tad sensitive and ordinary body lotion could irritate down there.

Am I masturbating too much?

There’s no ‘normal’ amount of masturbation. And, especially if you’re a teenage bloke, don’t worry if it feels like all you want to do is put your hands down your boxers. Over and over. You may find your bits get sore though, so if anything feels inflamed, it may be worth calming down for a few days.

In rare cases, young people can get addicted to masturbating, or masturbating while watching porn. If you’re worried, some questions to ask yourself are:

  • Is your masturbating affecting your sex life? I.e. You can’t have sex with your partner because you’re masturbating so much.
  • Is your masturbating affecting your social life? I.e. you’re turning down invites with friends so you can stay in and masturbate.
  • Are you masturbating so much you’re hurting your genitals and yet feel unable to stop?

If you have ANY questions, book an appointment with your GP to chat things through.

Is it OK if I don’t think of my partner when I masturbate?

We’re all entitled to private masturbatory lives – even if we’re in a couple. And, yes, sometimes you may not think of your loved one when you’re ‘appreciating yourself’. This doesn’t mean you don’t love them, or don’t fancy them anymore.

However, in some instances, you may need to talk to your partner about your masturbatory habits – for example if they find you masturbating to porn and get upset. It’s all about being open and honest, and balancing your right to your own private sexual life with appreciating their feelings. Read more about how to do this in our porn problems article.

What if I think about really odd stuff when I’m masturbating?

The sexual brain is an odd thing, and all sorts of random crap may spur you on during a self-love session. This doesn’t make you weird or a pervert, and it doesn’t mean you’d want your fantasies to become real. You may think about someone of the same sex, fantasise about a really dark situation like being raped, hey, maybe even animals will come in there.

This is normal and thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of. There are no Thought Police. As long as no one is getting hurt in the real world, there’s nothing to worry about.

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Next Steps

  • Brook are a sexual health charity, which support young people through their clinics and helpline. 0808 802 1234
    • Got a question about friends, dating, love or family life? Ask one of our trained advisors. This service is free and totally confidential.
    • Chat about this subject on our Discussion Boards.
    • Need help but confused where to go locally? Download our StepFinder iPhone app to find local support services quickly.

By Holly Bourne

Updated on 25-Mar-2014

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