Pesky ex
Question
I live in a shared rented house with a friend and my ex-boyfriend. My ex has been causing trouble since the breakdown of our relationship. I asked him to leave but even though he agreed, hes done nothing and is pestering me to get back with him. The situation has become intolerable and our other flatmate is now getting involved. Ive now asked him in writing to leave the house.
What should I do if he refuses or makes the situation even more difficult?
Answer
It can be really tricky to sort living arrangements after a break up, and this sounds like a difficult predicament. Did you all move into the flat together and sign one agreement? If so, you would be joint tenants and the following advice is based upon this.
Being a joint tenant means that you all have a right to live in the house and you are all responsible for the house - even if one of you moves out. This can cause problems if you are not all getting on.
If you want to stay in the house and your ex agrees to move out you may be able to arrange a new tenancy with your landlord. All of you, including the landlord, would have to agree. If your ex does not agree to move, he would have a right to live there until the tenancy is ended correctly.
If you are joint tenants then you can't force him to move out. If your case is extreme you may be able to get help from your local council or the police. This is only likely to be possible in situations where:
- he has threatened you with violence;
- noise or damage caused is so severe that it has become a serious nuisance;
- there is racial or sexual harassment.
If you are in any of these situations or you are not joint tenants, get advice immediately from Shelter. In this situation the best idea might be to talk through the problem and try to come to a mutual agreement. Maybe by explaining how you feel, your boyfriend may see how difficult the situation is for you.
Updated: 26/09/2008
Question answered by Shelter
