You're a winner. You really are. Here's how to bring out the champ from the chump.
Everyone can find the confidence to feel better about themselves, but you have to want to do it. Even if you kick off with a minor achievement, like holding your own in a conversation, it'll feed the courage of your convictions.
Find a starting point
No matter how low your self-opinion, identify one thing about yourself that other people like and admire. It doesn't have to be much, from your sense of humour to your kindness among friends, and then build on it. Simple as that!
Don't be down on yourself when people show an interest in you. Instead of being 'not great' or 'could be better' if someone asks how you're doing, why not try being 'fine', or 'really well'? Give it a go, and you'll quickly pick up on the improvement in their response to you.
Sometimes when people feel insecure they try to deflect attention away from themselves by being critical of others. Sadly, it says more about them than the poor souls they're bitching about. If this rings a bell with you, then next time try paying compliments. Being nice about someone means others will think better of you, which can only improve the way you see yourself.
Learn from mistakes
If you don't think much of yourself it's easy to be your own worst critic. Things can get worse when others have a go at you, which is why it's so important to take criticism positively. If you screw up, or someone accuses you of making a mess of things, ask if there's anything you can take on board from the episode. See it as a learning experience, not another reason to feel lousier.
In sticky situations, people with low self-esteem often compensate by being aggressive. The trouble is it tends to alienate people, reinforcing their own view that they don't match up to the rest of humanity. The way forward is by being assertive instead of aggressive. So don't get angry next time you feel as if your opinions are being ignored. Just politely argue your case. The calmer you remain, the more likely it is that your voice will be heard, and the better you'll feel in the long run!
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