Social suffering
Question
I go through periods of feeling extremely low and have feelings of hopelessness and despair. I rarely feel completely 'normal' - when I am not in a high or low mood I often still feel below par.
I also suspect I may suffer from social anxiety disorder. I have feelings of great anxiety in social situations; I find it difficult to speak, my muscles tense up, I can't think straight and my breathing becomes laboured. I am paranoid people see this, though I've been told it isn't noticeable. Some days I can be fine, and the next, with the same person, completely anxious. I then analyse the event and kick myself for the things that I did wrong.
What does all this mean and what can I do?
Answer
It sounds like you've been experiencing some difficult feelings and discomfort for some time, and this must be very distressing. Acknowledging the issues you are experiencing could be an important step forward to seeking help and support. Feeling such despair, hopelessness and anxiety can be very draining and isolating. But you don't have to go through this alone.
Symptoms of anxiety can be extremely overwhelming and affect people in a variety of ways, both physically and mentally. Although you find yourself being able to more or less function in social situations, it must still be very frustrating to feel so anxious when you are around people. Even with someone you know.
The kind of symptoms you describe, from feeling low to being tense and having difficulty breathing, speaking and thinking straight could be related to social anxiety disorder. It may be worth seeking a professional opinion from your doctor (GP) who can make a diagnosis.
Your GP will also be able to explore the treatment options with you. Antidepressants are commonly used to treat cases of anxiety. As with any medication, they do have side effects and can take up to six weeks before they have a significant, positive impact. There are many types and some work better for certain people than others.
Sometimes there is no obvious reason for feelings of anxiety, so it's hard to know what is causing it. But something might have happened to trigger these feelings, or maybe particular areas of your life are increasing your feelings, such as relationships, work, or low self esteem. It may help to think about these issues individually.
Everyone feels anxious some of the time, especially when stressful things are happening. But some experiences can be more intense than others. There are ways to tackle anxiety and you can find further sources of help, including telephone counselling and support groups, on the First Steps website, also available on 0845 1202916.
There are also alternative methods of treating anxiety such as talking treatments, for example, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Your GP will be able to discuss the options with you, or suggest other avenues of support available to you.
Talking to someone like a counsellor or therapist can also be helpful. They may help you work through your issues and find ways of handling your anxiety in a confidential, non-judgemental environment. You can find free counselling in your area through the Youth Access database. Alternatively, your GP will be able to refer you to an appropriate service.
You may find it helpful to spend some time looking at possible reasons for why you feel the way you do. If underlying emotional problems are the cause of your anxiety, you may need some help in dealing with them. Talking to friends and family can be difficult but if there is someone you trust to confide in, that might help you to make a start on understanding your needs. It may also give them a better insight into your situation, so they can offer you more effective support and understanding.
But, this can seem hard and if you feel uncomfortable talking to your parents or friends, you might like to consider talking to a volunteer at SANELINE. The helpline, on 0845 7678000, is available to anyone experiencing a mental health issue.
Updated: 17/06/2010
Question answered by SANE
