Dealing with drink
Question
I'm married with two young children. My husband has been drinking a lot for sometime but it's becoming a real problem. He isn't violent but it creates so many issues for us I really think he needs some help. Where can he get help and how do I convince him to do it? He doesn't think he's got a problem because he's able to hold down a job.
Answer
It's difficult when someone you care about is drinking too much. It is always hard for a family member to know how they can help. Although your husband's drinking has started to cause problems in the family, the choice to acknowledge this and stop must be made by him. But if his drinking was truly under control then it wouldn't be causing problems within the family.
Right now, the best thing you can do is let him know how much you and the children love him and that you are there to support him to be healthy and happy. Although he must make the decision to reduce or stop drinking but there are things you can do to support him to make this decision. You could start out by talking to him about whether or not he wants to cut down or stop using alcohol. It might help for you to find out more about alcohol, the effects, the law and the nature of addiction and dependency. Then you can plan what you want to say. Giving him information about the effects on his health and staying safe might help him make up his mind.
Maybe write down a few points and think about how what you are going to say will sound to him. It's important to avoid being judgmental so think carefully about what you say and how you say it. If it gets difficult it might help to bear in mind that it is his choice and you can't make it for him.
There will be services for people with concerns about alcohol use in your area. To find your local services you can call Frank on 0800 77 66 00 or search their directory of services. You and your husband will be able to get free, unbiased and confidential support from professionals who will not judge him or make him do anything he doesn't want to do.
If he doesn't think he is ready to talk to someone face-to-face, it's worth knowing that many local services can provide support over the phone until he is ready to make the next move. You might want to do some research by ringing them first before talking to him about what is available in your area and what support they can provide. Alternatively, Drinkline is a national helpline that provides help, info and advice on all aspects of alcohol use and abuse. You can call Drinkline on 0800 9178282.
Updated: 01/02/2007
Question answered by Addaction
