Community: Real Life

Meet the daughter

It's a big moment in a relationship when you first get to meet your other half's parents. But for 21-year-old Nicola from Cambridge, it was her boyfriend's daughter that she needed approval from.

Nicola

I'd not had the best experience with meeting my dad's first girlfriend, so when I discovered my boyfriend Andy had a daughter of his own, I was convinced she would hate me.

Being in a relationship with an age gap of 14 years can be daunting enough, but I was terrified about meeting his daughter for the first time. Even though it was something I knew was going to happen, I'd not had any experience with children and it made we wonder if I was actually going to get through it in one piece.

To make things even more scary, the place we would be meeting was at her mother's house in London. That meant I would be meeting her for the first time too.

I sought advice from my long-suffering friends on how to handle the situation. The best advice came from my friend Lisa, who is 17. She told me to make sure I wore something colourful as I always wear black, and to smile. Even if I had nothing to say, when she's looking at me I should just smile and look friendly.

Breaking the ice

My heart was pumping all the way into central London. My boyfriend, Andy, didn't help; he teased me by saying "oooh, we're getting closer" every five minutes.

We arrived at the flat, and I was led to the kitchen where I meet both my boyfriend's daughter and her mother for the first time. I panicked when, after five minutes, my boyfriend left me alone with his daughter while he sorted something out.

"She just reached up and held my hand. It was so natural and I felt I had been fully accepted"

Luckily, she broke the ice while I just sat there paralysed with fear. She started telling me about her special cup with her name on and started to spell it for me. She's talking to me, I thought. This is a good sign, she doesn't instantly hate me. Bonus.

When my boyfriend returned she gave us each a packet of crisps. I did briefly wonder if they were poisoned and if this was how I was going to meet my untimely death, but I then remembered that she was just four.

School boots

Looking across I could see Andy giving me encouraging smiles, so I felt like it was going OK. To take the pressure off we decided to go shopping for some new school boots for her.

Walking through the shopping centre with both of them felt very strange, yet very normal, like it was any other day. I had never seen him in action with his daughter so it was very sweet to see him be 'daddy'.

The most significant part of the day came at our first port-of-call, the shoe shop. It was just a normal shop and we were buying normal shoes. Once she had picked some that she liked Andy disappeared off to look at some slippers for her, and it was at this moment she just reached up and held my hand. It was so natural and I felt I had been fully accepted.

I found it hard to contain my smile when he returned and had to do a double-take on what he was looking at. It was a situation I had never been in before, but it felt amazing. She held my hand round most of the other shops, and at times held Andy's at the same time.

Six hours earlier I'd been so fearful about the day I could hardly breathe or eat. Yet it felt like a perfectly natural and perfect moment. Meeting his daughter was the scariest thing I had ever contemplated doing, and by the end of the day, I had made it out alive, and with a big smile on my face.


Bookmark with:What are these?

Also on TheSite.org