Community: Real Life

Living with IBS

Jodie Carver, 21, has Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Here, she explains how it's changed her life.

All my life I've been prone to stomach aches; the only way I could describe it when I was little was that it felt like I had bubbles in my belly. At the age of 11 I was given tablets to help the pain, but when my mum looked into what they were she discovered that they were for anorexics. I guess they thought I was getting the cramps from throwing up, but thankfully my mum took me off them straight away.

The first attack

It wasn't until I was about 16 that I started to get really serious stomach cramps, and then at 18 I had my first serious attack. I was out at a restaurant with my boyfriend at the time and I suddenly had to run out to the car because I was in so much pain. You're supposed to stretch stomach cramps out but they were so severe that I couldn't even sit up straight. I was short of breath and crying my eyes out, so my boyfriend rushed me to hospital. They gave me pethidine, a drug for women in labour, which helped to calm down the cramps, but I still felt really battered and bruised. I didn't have a clue what was going on and I had to spend the whole night there having blood tests and giving urine samples for pregnancy tests.

Some progress

It took another attack before the ball got rolling and I was admitted to specialists. This time they were much more helpful; they took x-rays of my intestine and found out that my colon had collapsed, which was why I was in so much pain. One of the examinations went horribly wrong - they split me open when they were stitching me up. Now I bleed really easily when I go to toilet, which is one of the worst things I have to cope with. I was also given stomach relaxant tablets that I now carry all the time and can take as soon as I start to feel stressed - they do help but they also make it gurgle a lot!

At this stage I still wasn't told what was wrong with me. After being given the wrong tablets when I was younger, I was desperate to know what these new ones were and if they had any side effects. When I got home, I went straight on the internet to research them and they all linked back to IBS. I then looked at the symptoms of IBS and they were exactly what I was experiencing, so I questioned the specialist about it and was eventually told that I had IBS. It was a relief to finally have a correct diagnosis and some tablets that work, but I couldn't believe that I had to work it out myself.

Learning to cope

When I have an attack, my tongue wedges itself back as if I want to be sick and I find it really hard to eat, so I also have nausea tablets to help with that. Luckily, I haven't had a serious attack in a long time, mainly because I've learned to deal with stress. As soon as I get stressed or upset, I can almost guarantee that my stomach will start twinging, so I'll have to take my tablets for a few days.

As a little girl I'd let everything worry me, but now I've had to learn to just let things go over my head, I can't care or I'll permanently be ill. My job can be really stressful, too. I work at the ferry terminal in Dartford, so there's a lot of stress getting the boats loaded on time and sorting the paperwork out. My supervisor lets everything get to her and I'm always the one calmly sorting things out by writing down what we have to do and taking the necessary steps to sort things out. In that sense it's good - I don't have to take my work worries home because I deal with them while I'm there.

Other ways that I've learnt to control my stress levels are by going out for long walks, doing breathing exercises, and even talking to myself, saying things like: "It's OK, you can get through this". It isn't always easy, though. I lost both my granddads in the space of one year and that played havoc on my stomach you can't bury that kind of stress. It was absolute hell.

Holding back and moving forward

In a way, having IBS has stopped me getting attached to anyone, because I know I can't handle the stress if anything goes wrong. When I split up with my ex-boyfriend I went through so much pain and that was the cause of my second attack. Now I won't let myself get that deep into a relationship again. I am in a relationship at the moment, but I won't open my heart because I'm scared of getting hurt and ending up in hospital. I am a very emotional person and I like a good cry, so it's hard because I know I can't do that. I've been with my current boyfriend for about nine months. I hope there's a future in it, but it doesn't help when I'm always bottling things up and pushing him away.

In a way, although I am learning to deal with stress, it's also making me bury things. People think that IBS is just a physical thing but it affects so many other areas of your life. I know I'll get there eventually, but adjusting to all these changes takes time.

Updated: 26/10/2006


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