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From arcades to addiction

Mark's* gambling habit began innocently through family games and days out to the seaside as a child. Now 22, he explains how it turned into a more serious addiction and nearly cost him his friends, family and financial ruin.

Innocent beginnings

I started gambling when I was at home with my family, especially on occasions like Christmas when we would play games that included winning money. I would also go to the arcades at the seaside on family days out and put money in the 2p machines. It was always something we did together and was fun at this stage, but by the age of 18 it got to the point when I was at a huge low.

Things get serious

I was soon gambling money I didn't have, scrambling to get more cash to gamble, and lying to friends and family in order to borrow money. I was completely out of control and this is when I realised it was not just something I enjoyed. It was actually a lot more serious and I was doing a lot of damage to myself and those close to me.

I decided I needed to get some help by contacting Gamblers Anonymous, which helped me initially. Later on I got in touch with Life Works, one of Europe's leading addiction treatment centres. I didn't feel I could confide in anyone close to me as I was too embarrassed about what was going on. It was incredibly hard to admit to my friends and family that I had a problem like this, but as much as I didn't talk to anyone, they all knew what was going on.

"It has taken many years to build that trust back up but I have managed it. It has also made me quite sceptical of people and I find it hard to trust others because of my previous actions."

Losing faith

My gambling made it very hard for people to trust me because I would lie about everything in order to get some cash. I would tell my parents that I was struggling to pay my rent and would ask them to help, promising to pay them back the next week, but never doing so. This went on for so long that people lost faith in me, and rightly so, as I never paid them back. As a result, I hurt a lot of people and they all lost all confidence in me, which I found really hard. It has taken many years to build that trust back up but I have managed it. It has also made me quite sceptical of people and I find it hard to trust others because of my previous actions.

I now have what addiction counsellors describe as "a very healthy recovery". I understand the addiction that I had and the triggers for the urge to gamble. If I do feel any urges I tend to step back and take a good hard look at what's going on around me to trigger them and then I deal with them accordingly by thinking them through and putting them straight.

Dealing with a relapse

I have only relapsed once and I felt devastated and ashamed. It was a really hard thing to cope with as you have to not only deal with your actions, but also the guilt you feel after being in recovery for a while and letting yourself and others down. My advice to anyone with a problem like this is to not let your pride stop you asking for help. It is very easy to be proud and stubborn in this kind of situation. At some point the gambling will end you either through suicide, financial ruin, or a nervous breakdown, however you can end it first by getting the help you need.

*Names have been changed


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