Community: Real Life

You're barred


Kate Gilks

Kate, 20, is a final year English student and part-time waitress. When not working she enjoys reading, cups of tea and Led Zeppelin.

Kates part-time pub job is tarnished by the grief she gets from grumpy punters.

Working in a pub can be a pretty enjoyable job; the pay's alright, you're part of a team and you get a roast dinner every Sunday after shift. It would be quite a cushy set-up but there seem to be some determined customers who are intent upon ruining the experience.

Now I understand the definition of my role is to 'serve', that's what I get paid for and after seven years worth of holiday-job experience I like to think I do it pretty well. But I'm not a machine or a lower-class citizen or a therapist and bad customers who seem unaware of these differences really get on my nerves.

For instance, I am a person, with real feelings of pain. So when I arrive at your table carrying four ridiculously hot plates precariously balanced up my arms in a very uncomfortable fashion, solely for the purpose of enabling you all to tuck into your food at the same time, please do me the courtesy of pausing your conversation for a moment. These customers are well aware I'm there and I'm sure they know exactly who had the sirloin steak medium-rare. They can hear me politely asking, but I'm considered so far beneath the importance of their conversation that I'm made to hover until they can grace me with their attention. Worse again are those who forget what they ordered. I still find this impossible to understand. Surely if you've come out to a restaurant you are, to some extent, interested in what you eat. You should be able to keep it in mind for the whole twenty minutes or so it takes to cook. Yet there's always someone on a table who claims the wrong meal, tucking in with unexpected zeal, so that by the time they realise they actually they ordered the duck, they're already half way through someone else's garlic chicken. A mess which I am then expected to sort out, negotiating with both an annoyed customer and a melodramatic chef.

"This is a country pub, not a slick city wine bar. We have plenty of other drinks available, maybe a Pimms, a G&T? Arsenic perhaps?"

On the week nights though I ditch the waitress's apron, and am designated the task of manning (well, womaning) the bar, opening up a new set of annoyances. I've had customers ask me to talk them through the whole wine menu, trying several previously unopened bottles, before describing their well deliberated chosen beverage as 'just about drinkable'. This is a country pub, not a slick city wine bar. We have plenty of other drinks available, maybe a Pimms, a G&T? Arsenic perhaps? I've also been forced to keep a straight face while answering stupid questions such as "are you all related?" Yes. It all began with just two energetic staff members and now, several years later, there are 18 of us! We may be in a small town, but it's not THAT kind of small town.

However, the absolute worst type of customer, as I'm sure all waiting/bar staff will agree is the drunken lout who won't go home. The one who has propped up the bar all night and even though I've polished all the glasses, swept the floors and ran through the till, still prevents me from going home early and watching the X-factor repeats. They usually want to nurse their pint and recount all their earthly woes such as how their wife ran off with the postman, or how their goldfish tragically passed away last Tuesday. I understand that life has its ups and downs, but the bar should be a happy place of banter and cheer. If you're feeling blue bloody well go home and stop making the rest of us miserable! Alternatively, they may decide to ogle down my shirt and enquire after my boyfriend situation, all whilst dribbling slightly and evidently giving me a grotesque leer that they seem to think is 'the eye'. Either variety of attention is a situation most unwanted and carefully avoided.

So next time you find yourself in a friendly country pub having a tasty meal, bear a thought for the staff who serve you. Be friendly, polite and treat us like equals and in turn we'll do our absolute best to make your meal a pleasurable dining experience. Oh, and did I mention the absolute best customers are the ones that leave a big tip.

Angry? Submit a rant

Updated: 26/10/2009


  • Print this page
  • Share/Bookmark

Also on TheSite.org