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The same but different


Letisha

Letisha, 19, loves dancing in front of large audiences with her dance group or in clubs. She listens to music for hours and enjoys spending time with family and friends.

Letisha wants everyone to know that just because she looks like her sister, it doesn't mean they have the same personality.

"Are you twins?"  "What does it feel like being a twin?" "If one of you hurts yourself does the other feel their pain?" These are some of the ridiculous questions my sister and I hear on a daily basis; and the chances of us hearing them are much greater when we're in the company of each other.

There seems to be a fascination with the image of twins. Once you've caught the attention of a passer-by the whole world seems to come to a standstill. Some people immediately go out of their way to stare at you as if you were known as one of 'Britain's most wanted.'

A multiple birth can be quite rare so I have to admit even I was once stunned to come across a set of quadruplets in a shopping centre in Florida. I couldn't help but observe their actions. The four girls walked around in pairs, all wearing exactly the same outfits, with identical hairstyles. It was like they were deliberately staging a theatrical production. However, once I realised that I was staring I withdrew my focus from the girls because I've experienced this intimidating behaviour myself. 

All my sister and I ever think is "Why are they staring at me?" It's normal for us to have an identical sibling. We are human beings after all. 

Being compared to my older sister often makes me feel less superior because people expect you to be the same. I do have my own voice and opinions. It's so aggravating because our strengths won't always be found in the same areas.  Why do people insist on comparing us to make one of us feel down about ourselves?

"I don't mind the term 'twin' being used as a nickname by my close friends, but somehow I always feel offended when it's used by a complete stranger."

If you insist on referring to 'us' as one person then you have definitely pushed yourself into the deep end. These sorts of comments will, without a doubt, have one of us jumping down your throat before you have time to finish your sentence.  You may ask why?  Someone once said to me: "I don't have to ask you the same question. I just asked your sister and you think the same anyway." What an ignorant suggestion to make! We each have our own brain. There isn't a twin's rulebook stating we have to always agree with each other. You may as well refer to us as robots and we'll do anything you say if you think we're incapable of having an opinion of our own.

From a very early age my parents encouraged us to be our own person. On occasions such as our first birthday, we had our own cake and from primary school we were placed in different classes, allowing us to interact independently. So why are we are also expected to lead the same paths in life, such as attending the same university? My sister and I deliberately chose our courses separately, solely based on the career paths we wanted to take.

Now that I'm at university I've already noticed some differences. I'm no longer referred to as 'twin' because I'm not walking the streets with my sister anymore and some friends are unaware I'm even "One half of an egg". I don't mind the term 'twin' being used as a nickname by my close friends, but somehow I always feel offended when it's used by a complete stranger.

There are some upsetting cases in the world where twins dedicate their lives to physically staying alike at any given opportunity. Watching a documentary on how desperate a set of twin girls behaved like this made me appreciate the wise start in life I was given. My sister and I expect to be recognised for our own character traits. This is how we should be perceived.  Two personalities.  Two bodies.  Two minds.

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