Community: Real Life

Royal wedding rage


Nicole

Nicole Gallagher is a third year journalism student and hopes to become a feature writer for a newspaper. She loves skiing, watching 'This is Spinal Tap' and writing.

Nicole thinks the royal wedding is a big fat waste of money.

Slap me for being so unmoved about the whole situation, but I couldn't care less about the royal wedding. And I am yet to meet anybody who has any sort of feeling or emotion on the subject. I don't know Kate or Wills, never will and don't even really have a clue what the monarchy does anyway. Does anyone?

But apparently we should all be elated. David Cameron says it will be "a great day for our country," while people all over the world are getting out the bunting. In Singapore, they're holding the biggest ex-pat party in history.

Sure, it's nice the young couple are so in love. And I agree with David Cameron our country needs a pick-me-up. But my main reason for being a humbug about the wedding is it's like they're just rubbing their wealth and power in our faces. It's almost as if they're laughing at the recession and giving us the finger by saying "ha ha, you lot might have less money right now, but look what we can do with public funds."†

Ever since Kate and William announced their wedding, the newspapers have gone in to overdrive, filled with stories about what Kate just ate for lunch ("posh person just ate fois gras") or†the new pumpkin and rabbit dropping diet Kate's mother has embarked on till the special day.

The papers are not only blinded by Kate's halo, but have also transported themselves back to Tudor times, labelling her the first 'commoner' to become a queen.

She's been hailed as the people's princess, possibly in a bid to make us all believe if middle-of-the-road Middleton can find her prince, we might manage it as well. Are we supposed to forget the fact she's actually more middle class than middle England, has millionaire parents and an exclusive private school education?†

"It's almost as if they're laughing at the recession"

Whenever the cost of monarchy comes up in conversation (£38.2 million from taxpayers last year), there's always some royalist in the corner banging on about how they're good for tourism. "It's tradition.... blah blah blah." But beheading and travelling by horse and cart was also once tradition.† We've managed to successfully leave that period of history behind, so why do we still need feudal overlords? †

I also wonder why we frown on unemployed people living in state-funded housing, yet not the unemployed, state-funded royal family? At least benefit scroungers don't spend half the year in the Swiss Alps at our expense.†

There are even reports that Kate and Camilla are showing a united front and meeting over lunch to joke about how they will eat cocktail sausages and Pringles. Yet that's exactly what they should be eating since they're taking a dip into the tax fund to pay for it. I sincerely hope the buffet is cheap. Besides, if they're inviting people like Victoria Beckham who probably won't even sniff the sausages in case she bloats up to, I don't know, a whole size two, what's the point in providing food anyway?†

My final gripe is the date. If I'm so cold-hearted and un-British that I'm not as excited about the wedding as the Daily Mail is, I guess I should at least be grateful I have a day off?† Well, actually, I don't have an extra day off to look forward to. It's the Easter holidays and I'm a student. Like most of my kind, I will be hibernating in my room, trying to find really big quotes from books I've never read in order to make a word count. If only they would move the wedding forward a few weeks so it was during exam time, then frankly I'd be very grateful for a day off.

There won't even be anyone around campus to play the 'Royal Wedding drinking game' with because all my friends will have gone home for Easter. In a very British fashion, that was the only part of the wedding I was actually looking forward too.

All I know is, if anybody asks me what I'm doing on the 29th†of April, I will answer with this:†"I will wake up around noon, reach for my house-mate's extensive DVD collection and spend the day on the sofa with two of my most trusted friends. One is called Ben, the other Jerry.† I will eat my Phish Food from a bowl fit for a queen and pretend it's just a normal day."

Updated: 15/04/2011


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