Die detox die
A former member of TheSite editorial team, Susie has now escaped the London rat race for the calmer shores of Wales. Here you'll find her tracking down local bands for music magazines and collecting shells for her handmade creations.
Susie Wild says you can shove your colonic irrigation up your...
Can somebody please explain the logic of the January detox fad to me? I really don't understand what it is that makes people, on the first week of the most depressing month of the year, jump out of bed and say: "Yes! Not drinking alcohol or smoking will make going back to work all the more bearable."
If anything, the few occasions that I actually venture out of my duvet in January make me want to turn into a chain-smoking alcoholic. It could be the cold weather, the grey skies, the rain that soaks through my trainers or, and more likely, the sudden desire by everyone to switch to a healthy lifestyle.
Those of you who argue that a detox programme will not only cleanse your system but also help your bank balance are misguided too. Have you totted up the cost of the detox tablets, wheat-free oatcakes, cranberry juice, gym membership, new gym gear and gorging on all the bad stuff you cut out as soon as the programme ends? No, I thought not.
The few occasions that I actually venture out of my duvet in January make me want to turn into a chain-smoking alcoholic.
I'm not saying it's a terrible thing to want to look after your body, just that January isn't the best month to get it all sorted, especially when jogging in front of a bleary-eyed journalist on a freezing Monday morning. That's just rude.
Right, I'm off to the pub, and I won't be ordering mineral water.
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