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Working in an abortion clinic.


Sabrina

We chart the ups and downs of Sabrina as she takes time out from medical school.
Entry: 9

Sabrina has adapted to the working in the clinic and understands both sides of the abortion debate.

Yes, it's April, and I haven't written anything since before Christmas. Sorry about that. The good news over the last few months is that I haven't had a single panic attack and there have been no urges to self harm. Good days far outnumber bad ones. That's not to say I'm fully recovered; I'm not. That's not the way it works for me (or anyone for that matter). In a way, I'll always feel like I'll be recovering, most certainly where the self harming is involved. The most important thing for me is to take each day as it comes and make the most of it. I'm still having therapy and I'll probably be on medication for quite some time. Still, any improvement is positive.

January was an interesting month. I talked about my self harming experiences to a room of politicians, journalists and, more frighteningly, the moderators of this site. It was part of the official launch of askTheSite and I was happy to talk about past experiences and the help that I have had.

"I do have sympathy for the foetuses, but, when you talk to the women, you soon realise that they're not terminating their pregnancies for frivolous reasons."

I'm currently working in an abortion clinic. I could say I'm in the field of reproductive healthcare; however, I'm not afraid or ashamed of the 'A' word. I work in administration, but there is a lot of client contact. This includes doing consultations and running through their medical history and reasons for wanting to terminate their pregnancy. I also take them to the wards and get them settled in. As you can imagine, it's a melting pot of all sorts of women, aged 14 - 54. At the start, it was very difficult for me to comprehend how I was going to help everyone. I overcame this by just taking a step back and listening. I may have only known them for a few seconds, but a rapport quickly builds up.

I have also been in the theatre when the abortions are performed. An early abortion, i.e. less than 11 weeks, can be completed in five minutes if the patient is under a general anaesthetic. Later abortions take up to half an hour, and I won't pretend, it's pretty difficult to watch. I must admit, I almost passed out watching one of the later abortions, but I'm glad I saw it. I'd feel like a hypocrite if I carried on working and didn't know what went on in the operating theatre. I'm in a difficult position because I do have sympathy for the foetuses that are aborted at such late stages, but, when you talk to the women in that position, you soon realise that they're not terminating their pregnancies for frivolous reasons.

I haven't been at university for a while because of work, but I'll be back for the last two weeks of term. I cannot believe how quickly 2005 is going by. Once again, I have an exam on my birthday (a great way to spend your 21st). As soon as I started revising, the sun came out and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. C'est la vie!


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