Back to reality
We chart the ups and downs of fabulous fresher Sabrina as she trains to be a doctor.
Sabrina's getting used to life in the year-out lane.
Freshers' week is a very uncertain time - being thrown into a class of 350 new people can be scary, so making friends quickly is the dish de jour. With that in mind, my friend went on the Freshers' Hampstead Pub Crawl, met a fellow fresher and all appeared to be going well. Towards the end of the evening she asked the girl if she would be happy to swap numbers. Normally at this time, the trained thumb is ready to do all the necessary tapping on the phone keypad; however, she was met with the response: "Actually, I'm being very selective about which numbers I take from people."
Now, if the young lady in question had been an A-list celebrity or on the Witness Protection Programme, I would have understood her response, however, when my flatmate repeated the story (or slurred in this case, after nine shots of vodka) I raised my right eyebrow so high, my forehead ached the next day. My flatmate ached too, but in this case, I was sent off to Piccadilly to find anything that would stop her head from exploding all over our beige carpets.
From one extreme to another, I met a particularly nice young lady on a Sunday evening in one of the university bars. We chatted about numerous things and I felt pleased that I had met such a down-to-earth, friendly girl. When I next saw her in the lecture theatre, everyone was her friend. I knew what Id been dragged into. The 'I Love You All, Love Me Too' syndrome that normally occurs with the types who want to be elected for college president. So there I was, I had served my purpose, I had been used and discarded, and the more her memory fills with people's names and details, the more likely she will forget who I am.
"With regards to the depression, it feels as if normality has returned"
Luckily, I have managed to find some people who don't fall into either of these extremes. They are the perfect porridge to my Goldilocks alter-ego. I was also pleased to know that I'm not the only student taking a year out, which is also reassuring. We all came to the same conclusion: shit happens.
With regards to the depression/anxiety, it feels as if normality has returned (not that anyones normal - perhaps that was a bad choice of word), but it feels as if I've finally reached a spot where I should be, and I'm taking it as a sign that my nervous system is physically recovering and getting better. Ironically, I had to have a few really bad days to realise this. They were what they were. Bad days. Days where I felt down in the dumps, quite blue and generally fed up and frustrated. And it is a great relief that I'm able to differentiate between that and being depressed. I'm not off the meds yet, whenever I think about it I feel nervous and excited, however, that's still a long way off and I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
In my travels, I found a practical, non-boring use for amino acids - they're now adding them to lubricants (and not the type that you put on a door hinge). I went to Erotica 2004 (with a trusty, yet slobbering-at-all-the-porn sidekick) and was given a sample that heats up and gives the body part of choice (my tongue in this instance) a zing. I'm now in a bit of a dilemma over whether I should email this information to my biochemistry lecturer, and I can't do it drunk because I'm teetotal!
Besides all that, the central heating doesn't work in my bedroom, so as you can imagine, getting out of bed every morning is a joy. It's so cold in my room that I guess I'll just have to stay in bed.