Community: Real Life

Sex outside of the city


Dating diarist

Tatti is a 19 year-old student who's discovering the crazy world of relationships. She's never been in love, but is having a great time learning all about men and finding out that uni relationships are far more complex than she could have ever imagined.
Entry: 1

Tatti won't give her real name away, but we get to meet the pint-sized curvy student who's taken to social life at uni like a fish to water. But what's going on with Mr X and what's the deal with text kisses?

Well hello there! My name is 'anonymous', but you can call me Tatti. I'll begin with the basics: I'm a first year English student from London, 19 years-old, 5ft 3, 30E, wild hair, brown eyes, a reasonable IQ, and five sexual partners to date.

Let's dive straight in - I'm going to start by telling you a secret. I've never been in love, shock horror! I know I'm only 19, but most people I've spoken to who are a similar age say they've been in love, and I really don't think I have. I've felt heartbroken, but the relationship wasn't equivalent to that of love - you know; butterflies in your tummy, sharing everything and anything with your loved one, amazing sex, bla-di-bla.

I haven't been in love and yet relationships, be it friendships or lovers, are always on my mind. I'm one of those girls who will talk to anyone. It's not because I'm particularly confident or extrovert, I'd say it's more just because I love people, and in particular men!

"I like to think of myself as a girl who has a good level of self respect and who doesn't let people walk all over her, but with men it's as if my sensible radar stops working."

I've been at university about six weeks now and it's been a whirlwind experience so far. These past few weeks I've had more relationship issues crop up than I have in my entire life and it's really got me thinking. For instance, my flat mate and I are very different. She's tall, I'm short. She's a size 20, I'm a size 10, she's a virgin, and I'm not. But we both worry about the same things... did I text back too soon? What if he likes someone else? How many kisses should I give? Should I play hard to get?

I've met this guy, let's call him 'Mr X', and he's already he's got me asking myself these very questions. It started off as a casual fling, but now it could be something more. Or could it be? I spend half of the day being mad at him and the rest of the day wondering why I'm not mad at him. It brings me and my friends to ask ourselves the crucial question: "Why do we like assholes?" Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. That's the word on the street.

I like to think of myself as a girl who has a good level of self respect and who doesn't let people walk all over her, but with men it's as if my sensible radar stops working. It's not like I don't stick up for myself, it's just that I forgive and forget far too easily. I let him get away with it every time.

So here I am, trying to get my head straight about relationships, but hopefully giving you guys a bit of advice on the way (or failing that... a bit of a laugh!) Maybe I'm a fool for getting so preoccupied with this sort of stuff, but I definitely don't think I'm the only one who has problems in my love life. And after all, they say a problem shared is a problem halved.


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