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Community: Real Life

Playing games


Dating diarist

Tatti is a 19 year-old student who's discovering the crazy world of relationships. She's never been in love, but is having a great time learning all about men and finding out that uni relationships are far more complex than she could have ever imagined.
Entry: 2

As Tatti and Mr X's relationship goes from hot to cold to hot again, she can't understand why a relationship needs to thrive by playing games. But why can't she take her own advice?

Do you remember how I was talking about 'Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' in my first entry? Well this brings me onto a similar theory called: 'Playing the game'.

What I always like about the beginning of a relationship is the development. You know, when you swap numbers and start to send 'flirty' texts and it's all new and exciting and you're wondering what he wrote, and he's wondering when and what you're going to reply.

The problem is that I never know how many kisses to put on a text. If I put one kiss, it normally means: 'I like you, but I don't know you well enough to give any more'. Two kisses are supposed to be a friend thing, and once you're properly together, one large capital X kiss is supposed to mean something deeper? How on earth do we get to know these things?

I've found myself wondering about the significance of the presence and absence of these kisses. How many times have you sent a blunt text with no kisses just to prove a point? It's as if you're really saying: "I'm pissed off". Nothing says it like a cold text conversation. I know I'm not the only one who does this.

Do you recall Mr X - or more appropriately, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? He's so hot and cold I never know where I stand with him. For the past few weeks in which I've been unofficially seeing him, he has made my head spin. He'll be lovely in the morning and horrible at night; ignoring me, paying me attention, and playing on my emotions. I'm so easy to wind up, and he winds me up like the tightest coil.

Yesterday night we had the same situation arise again. Mr X had been surprisingly lovely to me all morning and then he started to get moody. I said to him: "Why do you do this? Do you even like me, what's going on?"

"Do you recall Mr X - or more appropriately, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? He's so hot and cold I never know where I stand with him."

And you know what he said? He replied: "You're just too easy - I like a challenge, and so do you... I like playing games with you because it's so funny, and admit it, you do exactly the same - it keeps things interesting." Bingo.

So we tried to make each other jealous all night at the student bar. I spent no time with him at all, just loads of time with other poor souls who I couldn't give a toss about and all the while staring over at him, my stomach in knots because his face is very, very close to that girl at the bar.

It made me think, these games are all very well, but what is it saying about us? Do we need to dislike each other to get on? Well that certainly makes no sense. When do the games stop? Surely at some point they have to. If we want a relationship we're going to have to stop playing and start working at it. But the truth is that I don't want to be the one to lose.

My friend Priscilla is in a similar situation with her man Luke - except he's not entirely her man at all. He claims she's too young, "a kid", then tells her she's the most beautiful girl in the world. He rarely texts her back anymore and he ignores her when they're out until she confronts him. "PRISCILLA!" I shout, "You can do better! Don't let him use you!" Anyone think this sounds similar? Me too - why can we never take our own advice?

I know what my problem is and I know what Priscilla's is too. It's because no matter how mean or fickle or how many games they're playing with you, there's always the hope that you might win. It's dangerous and it's a gamble.

I guess until I can take the leap and make myself vulnerable in admitting: "I like you," the games shall continue. Or maybe this will just complicate matters further. I'm going to lose track of my games soon, I'm telling you. Guess we better wait and see...


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