1. The drunkard - The one who always gets wasted at after work drinks and blabs the gossip about everyone before passing out in a pool of their own vomit - an embarrassment to themselves and everyone else.
   
2. The admirer - The one who desperately fancies you and clings to your every word. This person is quite likely to throw themselves at you shamelessly in social situations crying: "I love you, lets get married and have babies."
   
3. The idiot - The one who always says the wrong things at the most inappropriate times, this colleague suffers from both foot-in-mouth and dick-on-head syndromes.
   
4. The nerd - The one you are only nice to so that they help you with your work, but who thinks that you are best mates and turns up like a shadow when you're out with your mates. (Think Carol from C4 series 'Teachers').
   
5. The sex perv - The one who either flirts with all of your mates in the sleaziest possible way or discusses the opposite sex's bodies in great analytical detail.
   
6. The golden oldie - The ancient office worker who thinks they're still with it when they're blatantly not. Only gets really irritating when they insist on coming clubbing with you, but at least you can try and lose them on the dancefloor.
   
7. The ex-snog - The one that you got hot and steamy with in a moment of madness, who now seems to be everywhere, as are the tales of your raunchy encounter. Guaranteed to make you cringe anytime they're nearby.
   
8. The joker - The one who drives everyone mad with completely unfunny 'wacky' practical jokes. Used to have to make do with whoopee cushions, but now gets to send round awful jokes and PowerPoint 'funnies' by email.

Note to our colleagues: we made these up - so don't get paranoid!

Updated: 25/11/2004