Sometimes living at home can be like living in a time bomb; restrictions and rules can be unbearable, so clashes are inevitable. By law, your parents aren't responsible for you once you've passed the school leaving age, and can legally kick you out.

If you're finding it difficult to see eye-to-eye with your parents, talking to someone from the local Youth Mediation service could help resolve any conflict before it gets out of hand.

What is the Youth Mediation Service?

It's a service that aims to resolve issues under 18s are having with their parents, or whoever they are staying with, before they're forced to leave home. Some councils have a Homelessness Youth Mediation Service, although if there isn't a service in your area, a local housing worker will often be willing to talk to your parents informally.

"Many families have problems when children grow up and push the boundaries," says Greg Marshall, the homeless youth mediator for Blackpool, "Families can have issues with overcrowding, homophobia, alcohol, drugs, crime, pregnancy, truancy, or just their child's attitude in general. Usually there is more than one thing that causes the problem."

Someone Greg recently had to help was David, aged 16, who was having problems living at home with his mum. He wasn't attending college and although he had aspirations to join the army, he hadn't done anything about it.

Greg started by referring him to The Hub, a local substance misuse service, to help deal with his alcohol problems. He was also given the opportunity to stay at a night shelter a couple of times to give him and his mum a break.

Greg says: "I spoke to a Connexions advisor and arranged for him to go on a 15-week army course in Preston. During that time we continued the mediation and relationships with his mum improved because he was doing something he was enjoying".  At the end of the course David applied to join the Paras and was accepted.

How does it work?

Although each service is different, mediators usually help if you're aged between 15 and 18, sometimes older.  The process goes something like this:

1. Once you've asked for help, a mediator will make sure your parents agree to it, too. 
2. You and your folks sign an agreement so everyone understands what mediation is all about.
3. To get a better idea of what's causing the problem a mediator talks to everyone in separate meetings.
4. Then, together with the mediator, you'll work out different ways you could reach a compromise or solution.  You'll then get to try some of those options out over the following weeks.
5. Mediation sessions take place for as long as is felt necessary, but often things are resolved over two or three sessions.
6. At the end of the process you'll get a summary of what was agreed so you can refer back to it if problems happen in the future.

If you are in other accommodation

As well as acting as intermediary between you and your parents, some services can help you if you are in other forms of accommodation. For example, in Blackpool the mediation service will attend warning and notice-to-quit meetings to try and ensure that residents threatened with eviction don't get kicked out. They also provide housing advice services at the hostels to help with other housing options.

Finding a youth mediation service near you

For details of Homeless Youth Mediation Service in your area, contact the housing department at your local council. Alternatively, you can be referred by Connexions, a Youth Offending Team, or your school or college.

Updated: 16/04/2009