Saying 'I love you!'
How to say those three little words (without stumbling all over them).
So you've been dating for a while. You're crazy for each other. Everything you do, see or say each day somehow relates back to that someone special. You can't stop thinking about them, you can't stop talking about them either. You are made for each other. Two peas in a pod. A match made in heaven . . .
So go on then . . . say it - tell that person how you really feel!
Ultimately, telling someone you love them shouldn't earn you anything more than respect.
Telling someone you're in love with them for the first time is never easy. It can take months to pluck up the courage, or it can slip out at the wrong time and potentially wreck a relationship.
The build up
- Ask yourself if you're genuinely falling in love with this person? Saying it without really meaning it is like holding up a sheet of Clingfilm and hoping they won't see through it. There's nothing more obvious than a fake 'I love you', especially if it's said in a bid to earn you some sex, and even if it works they'll hate you for it later.
- Plan ahead. But not too much! It's a good idea to know roughly what you're going to say and when, but don't make it a military manouevre. Let a little spontaneity rule the moment, as its there that emotions come to the fore. If it all sounds too stressful, however, then consider writing a love letter instead. That way, you can draft it to your heart's content. Just be aware that you'll have to face them afterwards, and say it for real some time.
- Keep an open mind about their response. It's all too easy to get so caught up in how to deliver the line that you fail to see beyond it. Don't go assuming they'll respond in kind, however, and melt into your arms. It may come as a shock to them, or worse they might not feel the same way. Whatever the case, don't hold out for the best-case scenario. Unless, of course, you're prepared to wait until you know for sure that they feel the same way.
The big moment
Be bold. There is no quick-fix way to make this moment painless, but you can deliver the goods by speaking clearly, and holding eye contact too. It's no good mumbling the line into your shoes, or saying it so quick that you're obliged to repeat yourself because they didn't quite catch it. Get it right first time. Come on, now. Consider yourself a sniper of love. You have them in your target. Your aim is steady and true. Now give it your best shot. You wouldn't expect anything less yourself, after all.
The pay off
Be patient. Even if you don't get the response you want straight away, you will have irreversibly changed the dynamics of this relationship - hopefully for the best. If it comes as a surprise, then give them time to digest things, and work out what it means to them. Ultimately, telling someone you love them shouldn't earn you anything more than respect. It's a heartfelt expression. Not a password to make things more intimate.
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