Swapping sexuality
Question
I'm gay, but I really want to have children and a family. Is there any way I can become heterosexual? Please help me, I feel so desperate.
Answer
Many people have feelings towards other people of the same sex, and wonder whether this means they are gay. For many people these feelings can be very intense and alienating.
Some people who are attracted to other people of the same sex are gay and go on to have sexual relationships with people of the same sex. But other people who have gay feelings find that these change over time and they become attracted to people of the opposite sex.
Other people are attracted to both men and women, and have relationships with both. Some people aren't attracted to anyone and wonder if this is a sign of homosexuality. Often it is only time that will resolve these feelings.
There can be a lot of pressure on a person who is uncertain about their sexuality but it is important that you come to your own decision in your own time when considering your sexual identity.
It's also important for people to come to terms with their sexuality, because it isn't something that can change at will. This means that you may not be able to make yourself become heterosexual. If this is the case, try to remember that it is possible for gay men and women to be parents and have a family. A person doesn't have to be heterosexual to have children or a family life.
Some people find it helps to talk to someone about their feelings. You might want to get more information and support and share your feelings with other people that have been through similar experiences.
You can contact the London Gay & Lesbian Switchboard on 0207 837 7324 and talk to someone in confidence. They can also signpost you to local services if this would be helpful. Pink Parents on 08701 273 274, is an organisation that supports gay people with - or wanting to have - children.
You can also go along to Brook and talk to a counsellor about these feelings and your concerns about them, or call their helpline on 0800 0185 023. A counsellor will listen and offer support. They are non-judgemental and won't tell you what to do but will help you explore how you feel.
Updated: 15/04/2010
Question answered by YouthNet in association with Brook
