Professional protection
Question
I'm 18 and I don't have any luck with girls but I just can't cope with never having sex. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't have sex soon. I'm even considering paying for sex but am worried about how safe that might be.
If I do see a prostitute and I use a condom will I be protected from Aids and other STIs? Please don't tell me to have a relationship, because frankly, only good-looking people get lots of sex and normal people end up with nothing.
Answer
Aids is a condition in which the immune system (the body's natural defence against disease) is seriously damaged. People who develop Aids have previously been infected by a sexually transmitted infection (STI) called HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus). There are many different types of STI and they can be spread in different ways, not just through penetrative sex. And there are also some infections that aren't sexually transmitted at all.
To reduce the risk of getting an STI, always use a condom during sex. Dental dams (thin squares of latex) can also be used as a barrier during sex involving contact between the mouth and the vagina, or the mouth and the anus. It's important you use this sort of protection when having sexual contact with anyone, not just with people selling sex. This is the best way to reduce the risk of catching an STI.
If you would like to get more information about infections, you can get free, confidential advice (and testing) at a genito-urinary medicine (GUM) clinic.
Having sex or being in a relationship does not happen solely to people that are considered 'good-looking'. If you look around you, you will notice people of all shapes and looks are, or are not, in sexual relationships, so it might be worth reconsidering your views and feelings about having sex.
It can seem like everybody's having, or has already had, sex. But in reality, the majority of people wait until they are in their late teens or even later to have sex. And people who are sexually active don't necessarily have sex all the time and it's not always hot and steamy. This is what's portrayed in the media: but the reality is different.
There can be a lot of pressure, as people often pretend to be more sexually experienced than they really are because they are afraid of what their friends or peers will think of them. It can be difficult in groups or with friends, no matter what age you are, to admit to sexual inexperience.
It's also worth remembering that penetrative sex is only one way to have sex. There are many other ways to be sexually intimate with someone or with yourself.
If you would like to talk things through with someone, you can go along to your local Brook Centre and have a chat with a counsellor.
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Question answered by YouthNet in association with Brook
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